I've been in the "scene" all of my adult life. I was involved with TES in NYC back in the late 80s and 90s. I've always been a switch who is a natural sexual dominant / disciplinarian / bondage top. I'm also a bit of a slut / discipline bottom. Recent experiences in a bad marriage which is now ending in divorce have caused me a lot of psychological issues which haven't been fully worked out. It will probably take time so..
I cannot be the "One" for anyone at the moment. I've had that in the past, and maybe in the future, but for the present moment, I feel I can only do play sessions with a kind dom female where we have negotiated everything. A pro with a lot of experience would be great. Discipline, pegging, some bondage. That's about it for now. I can take a bit of humiliation but frankly I'm better at giving that than receiving.
As a dom, I can only say this: I'm willing to consider simple sessions, especially in a public party situation where limits are quite strict. I have a long way to go towards regaining my confidence, so there is no way I can be the "One" for you. I do have a ton of experience with bondage and domination though, so if you are a sub looking to experiment, practice, or "learn how this goes" then maybe that would be a match for me. Let's talk a lot about what is wanted on both sides and how to do it safely.
As far as sex goes, I don't know where I'm at. I don't feel that I can truly open my heart to someone at this time. At least not until I've made it through this transition. Maybe that's why I feel that bottom sessions of pegging are all I am interested in right now. Hopefully someday soon I will be able to once again feel the kind of strong sense of power in intimacy that I was used to in the past, but I don't want to either fake that or try to make it come too soon.
I'm an artist, somewhat financially stable, highly dedicated to my various jobs, and also have a very spiritual outlook on life. I am an amateur athlete who is currently trying to train his way back to competition form, so I do spend a lot of time on that.
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My Ideal Person:
I'm not going into detail on this one for reasons mentioned above, but at the moment my ideal person would be a highly experienced pro-domme with a caring demeanor. Someone who also enjoys some intellectual chat as well would be nice.
Or perhaps a sub who is not looking for attachment. That's super-rare I know, but it's all I can handle right now. Please know that I am not willing to "support" anyone at this time. I've done a lot of that recently and wish to live alone now and possibly play with folks who are stable in their life situations as well.
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