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Small get together 12/7/2018
: There will be a small gathering in the school tomorrow. Please come.
Dad: What do you mean? Who will be there?
: Only you, me, and the school principal.
3 Comentarios, 116 Vistas,
12 Votos
,3.33 Puntuación
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All idiot 12/7/2018
Teacher: All idiots stand up.
A boy stands up.
Teacher: So you are an idiot?
Boy: No. I can’t bear your standing alone Sir.
3 Comentarios, 92 Vistas,
10 Votos
,5.18 Puntuación
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THE HORTH WITHPERER 12/7/2018
Bob calls his buddy Sam, the rancher, and says he's
sending a friend over to look at a . Sam asks "How
will I recognize him?" "That's easy, he's a midget with a speech
impediment." So, the midget shows up, and Sam asks him if he's looking
for a male or female . "A female horth." So he shows him a prized filly. "Nith lookin horth. Can I ...
2 Comentarios, 39 Vistas,
3 Votos
,3.43 Puntuación
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The Golfer and the Leprechaun. 12/7/2018
An American golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive
into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun
flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's
ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle
from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving
him. "Arrgh! What happened?" the Leprechaun asked.
"I'm afraid I hit you ...
1 Comentarios, 37 Vistas,
6 Votos
,4.22 Puntuación
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My First Time 9/7/2018
It was my first time ever And I'll never forget I'd do it again Without a single regret. <br><br>
The sky was dark The moon was high We were all alone Just she and I. <br><br>
Her hair was soft Her eyes were blue I knew just what She wanted to do. <br><br>
Her skin so soft Her legs so fine I ran my fingers Down her spine. <br><br>
I ...
3 Comentarios, 35 Vistas,
6 Votos
,4.50 Puntuación
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Blonde Painting 9/7/2018
One day a blonde comes out of the tanning salon. She wants
to make some money so she goes to one of the rich neighborhoods.
She rings the door bell and says, "HI, is there anything I could do for
your house or you???" <br><br>
The man thinks and says, "Sure, can paint my porch.
You will find all the stuff in the garage." <br><br>
The girl says, ...
2 Comentarios, 37 Vistas,
7 Votos
,3.80 Puntuación
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A Drunk 28/6/2018
A drunk walks out of a bar with akey in his hand and he is stumbling
back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, 'Can I help
you Sir?' 'Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr', the man
replies. The cop asks, 'Where was your car the last time you saw
it?' 'It wasss on the end of thisshh key', the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down ...
1 Comentarios, 38 Vistas,
10 Votos
,4.98 Puntuación
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Organist 28/6/2018
A small church had a very attractive big- busted organist
and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled
while she played the organ. <br><br>
Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation. The
very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something
had to be done about this or they would have to get another
organist. <br><br>
<br><br>
So, one ...
1 Comentarios, 47 Vistas,
11 Votos
,5.04 Puntuación
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Finally a sensitive man 12/6/2018
A woman meets a good-looking man in a bar. They talk, they
connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his
apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely
packed with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There ! are
three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds
of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering
the ...
1 Comentarios, 48 Vistas,
12 Votos
,5.98 Puntuación
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"I’ve outlived my dick." A Poem - by Willie Nelson 6/6/2018
My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out. What used to be my pride and joy, Is now my water spout. <br><br>
Time was when, on its own accord, From my trousers it would spring. But now I've got a full time job, To find the friggin thing. <br><br>
It used to be embarrassing, The way it would behave. For every single morning, It would stand and watch me shave. ...
0 Comentarios, 26 Vistas,
9 Votos
,5.99 Puntuación
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Senior Surgery 4/6/2018
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his , a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he asked to speak to his . 'Yes, dad, what is it?' 'Don't be nervous, ; Do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and ...
0 Comentarios, 36 Vistas,
7 Votos
,4.82 Puntuación
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AN OVERWEIGHT BLONDE 4/6/2018
An overweight blonde went to see her doctor for some advice.
The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty
days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty
pounds. <br><br>
The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after
thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed
lost the whole twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and
thanked him for ...
1 Comentarios, 41 Vistas,
14 Votos
,3.94 Puntuación
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Honesty 4/6/2018
A girl says to her mother "I know where babies come
from Mummy. Sarah told me." Her mother replied "And where is that, dear?"
The girl says "She said that you put Daddy's thing
in your mouth, and stuff comes out, and goes in your belly
and that's where babies grow." Her mother corrected her "No dear, that's where
jewelry comes from."
1 Comentarios, 28 Vistas,
10 Votos
,4.38 Puntuación
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My Travel Plans for 2018-2019 4/6/2018
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.
Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots
with someone. <br><br>
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes
you there. <br><br>
I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport;
you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there,
thanks to my , ...
1 Comentarios, 23 Vistas,
5 Votos
,4.45 Puntuación
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Holiday Present 28/5/2018
Bob's wife is going off to Paris for a long weekend with
her girlfriends. As he drives her to the airport, she says
to him: <br><br>
"Is there anything you'd like me to bring you
back from Paris?" <br><br>
Bob thinks about it for a while, and then jokes, "How
about you bring me back a cute little French girl?"
<br><br>
Bob's wife ...
1 Comentarios, 39 Vistas,
11 Votos
,4.29 Puntuación
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Billy Bob and Luther 24/5/2018
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy
Bob tells Luther" Ya knowI reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation.
Only this year I'm gonna do it A little different. The last few years I took your advice
about where to go." "Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to
Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant." "Then two years ago you told me to go ...
0 Comentarios, 29 Vistas,
10 Votos
,4.78 Puntuación
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WELL, I'LL BE GONE 17/5/2018
A guy walks into a bar with his and says, "I'll
have a otch and water and my would like a whiskey sour."
<br><br>
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't allow animals
in here." <br><br>
The replies, "Hey, I'm tired of being diriminated
against. Just give me a drink." <br><br>
The bartender says, "Oh, no, not another ...
1 Comentarios, 45 Vistas,
8 Votos
,3.94 Puntuación
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Photo on the night stand 16/5/2018
After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman's nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. <br><br>
'Is this your husband?' he nervously asks. <br><br>
'No, silly, ' she replies, snuggling up to him.
<br><br>
'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues. <br><br>
'No, not at all, ...
1 Comentarios, 28 Vistas,
8 Votos
,3.25 Puntuación
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Underwear dust 3/5/2018
evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said
to his wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes
in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your
butt!' <br><br>
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't
let such a comment go unrewarded. <br><br>
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out
of his drawer. ...
2 Comentarios, 49 Vistas,
9 Votos
,2.14 Puntuación
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Fireman Sex 1/5/2018
A FIREMAN came home from work day and told his wife, 'You
know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL
1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all
slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire
truck ready to go. <br><br>
'From now on when I say BELL 1 I want you to strip naked. <br><br>
When I say BELL 2 I want you to ...
0 Comentarios, 31 Vistas,
3 Votos
,4.90 Puntuación
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THE BOTTLE OF WINE 1/5/2018
For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were
married, or wish you weren't married, this is something
to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine: Mary was driving home from of her business trips in Northern
Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on
the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet ,
she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman ...
0 Comentarios, 25 Vistas,
3 Votos
,3.92 Puntuación
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THE CORK 30/4/2018
Arab terrorists were in a locker room taking a shower
after their bomb making class in Toronto, when notices
the other has a huge cork stuck in his arse. If you do not mind me saying, " stated the second,
"that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why don't
you take it out?" I regret I cannot", lamented the first Arab. "It
is permanently stuck in my arse." "I do ...
0 Comentarios, 34 Vistas,
5 Votos
,2.49 Puntuación
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YOU CAN'T FOOL THE IRISH....... 30/4/2018
Mrs O'Brien comes to visit her Seamus for 3 days
in Dublin where he is studying. She finds out that her
lives with Vikki, a girl roomate. Mrs O'Brien couldn't
but notice how pretty Seamus's room-mate was.
She suspects of a relationship between the , and this
had only made her more curious. Reading his Mum's thoughts, Seamus volunteered,
"I know what you must be ...
0 Comentarios, 22 Vistas,
2 Votos
,5.20 Puntuación
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Cowboy 24/4/2018
Cowboy: GIVE ME 3 PACKETS OF CONDOMS PLEASE. <br><br>
CASHIER: DO YOU NEED A PAPER BAG SIR? <br><br>
Cowboy: NAH... SHE AIN'T THAT UGLY!
1 Comentarios, 17 Vistas,
6 Votos
,1.66 Puntuación
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THE BOTTLE OF WINE 17/4/2018
For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were
married, or wish you weren't married, this is something
to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine: Mary was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern
Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on
the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one,
she stopped the car and asked the Navajo ...
0 Comentarios, 19 Vistas,
7 Votos
,3.30 Puntuación
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YOU CAN'T FOOL THE IRISH....... 17/4/2018
Mrs O'Brien comes to visit her Seamus for 3 days
in Dublin where he is studying. She finds out that her
lives with Vikki, a girl roomate. Mrs O'Brien couldn't
help but notice how pretty Seamus's room-mate was.
She suspects of a relationship between the two, and this
had only made her more curious. Reading his Mum's thoughts, Seamus volunteered,
"I know what you must ...
2 Comentarios, 19 Vistas,
9 Votos
,3.21 Puntuación
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WHEELIE BIN 17/4/2018
A dustman is going along a street picking up the wheelie
bins and emptying them into his dustcart. He gets to one house where the bin hasn't been left out
so he has a quick look for it, (unusual I know), goes round
the back but still can't see it, so he knocks on the door.
There's no answer so he knocks again. Eventually a Japanese bloke answers... "Harro",
says the ...
1 Comentarios, 22 Vistas,
8 Votos
,3.01 Puntuación
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Blowjobs 13/4/2018
A husband comes home to find his wife packing a suitcase
<br><br>
"Where are you going?" He asked <br><br>
"Las Vegas" she said' " You can get
$400 for a blowjob there, so i figured i would get paid for
something i give you for free" <br><br>
"Hold on" He said " im coming too, i want
to see you survive on only ...
1 Comentarios, 20 Vistas,
5 Votos
,3.14 Puntuación
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Disappointed 9/4/2018
A teacher asked her 6th grade class: “Who can tell me,
which human organ becomes 10 times bigger when it’s stimulated?”
<br><br>
Maria stood up, bright red and angry, and said “How can
you ask such a question? I’m telling my parents and they’re
going to get you fired!” <br><br>
The teacher was shocked by the outburst, but decided to
ignore it. She asked the ...
1 Comentarios, 33 Vistas,
9 Votos
,2.57 Puntuación
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A drover in the Northern Territories 8/4/2018
A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side.
<br><br>
He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished
patrons. 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open
this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside.
<br><br>
Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. <br><br>
'Then he'll open his mouth and I'll ...
0 Comentarios, 15 Vistas,
5 Votos
,4.45 Puntuación
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