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TheTravelingLion 38 H
3 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Urban Legend slash OMG WTF   4/3/2009

I always though this was an urban legend, but I guess there is some truth to it:

"Woman Has Sex With Her Dog It's likely, a 40-year-old woman and her husband, 44, will face prison after they are charged with sex crimes in Great Wakering, Essex, UK. For example the woman had sex with her dog, an Alsatian that was even trained for it.

The woman was arrested after police found a ...


0 Comentarios, 13 Vistas, 2 Votos ,1.73 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
jejeje uno corto   23/3/2008

A una ama de casa, a un funcionario y a un abogado se les pregunta: ¿Cuánto es 2+2?

La ama de casa responde: ¡Cuatro!.

El funcionario responde: Creo que es ó 3 ó 4. Déjame comprobarlo con mi calculadora una vez más.

El abogado baja la intensidad de la luz, y entrecerrando los ojos y con tono suave contesta: ¿Cuánto quiere que sea?.


2 Comentarios, 60 Vistas, 8 Votos ,4.17 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
es bueno reir un poco   3/12/2007

Estaban dos amigos gallegos tomando en un bar. En eso comienzan las noticias de la noche, en las que muestran a un suicida en el borde del techo de un edificio de 15 pisos. Entonces uno de los gallegos dice:

- Poz que te apuezto 1000 pesetas a que el tipo no ze lanza. - Hecho!!

En eso se ve por la tele que el tipo se lanza y se hace pur en el piso, por lo que el primer gallego ...


1 Comentarios, 55 Vistas, 9 Votos ,3.21 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
unas bromitas   3/12/2007

Llegan 3 hombres al infierno, un Gringo, un Hindu y un Chileno. El diablo les dice: - Bueno, les daré una oportunidad de irse al cielo y salvarse del infierno. Aquel que aguante 3 latigazos mios, se podrá ir. Antes de los latigazos podrán ponerse lo que quieran en la espalda, a ver si los aguantan !

Los hombres aceptan. Primero el Gringo toma una gran loza de concreto y el diablo, al ...


1 Comentarios, 54 Vistas, 7 Votos ,4.31 Puntuación
luisfab 47 H
10 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
hola   26/11/2007

Hola .


0 Comentarios, 12 Vistas, 1 Votos
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
unas bomas   7/11/2007

¿Porque le dicen al Presidente Misión imposible? Porque cada vez que habla se auto destruye.

¿Por qué a Chávez le dicen el redentor? Porque tiene a cuatro millones arrepentidos

Estaba una hormiguita en cine de repente en frente se sienta un elefante, la hormiguita inmediatamente le dice al elefante; elefante tapa, elefante tapa, pero el elefante no le paraba bolas, la ...


0 Comentarios, 34 Vistas, 4 Votos ,5.19 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
hay que sonreir un rato   30/10/2007

Llega un joven desesperado a una farmacia, donde le atiende una mujer madura-Señora, tengo un problema serio, sufro de erección permanente, ¿Qué me puede ofrecer? La señora guarda silencio por un tiempo con los ojos muy abiertos y le dice: - Pues tengo esta farmacia en propiedad, un piso y una casita en la playa.



El post operado al cirujano: - Doctor, entiendo que se vista ...


0 Comentarios, 52 Vistas, 7 Votos ,3.80 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
para reir un poco   30/10/2007

¿Por qué los pastusitos, ponen un hacha debajo del carro? Para cortar camino

Le pregunta un amigo a otro amigo: ¿Cuál es la mitad de uno? Y el otro contesta: El ombligo...

Oiga, ¿usted cómo se llama? Yo Gabriel, pero cuando estornudo me dicen Jesús


0 Comentarios, 15 Vistas, 4 Votos ,3.25 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
unos chistes cortos   29/10/2007

Un Cubano acababa de regresar de EU, y estaba platicando su viaje a sus amigos... - Sigenos contando chico' que fue lo que ma' te gu'to de E'tados unidos?? - Pue' Nueva Yor!!! - No me diga' chico que fuite a Nueva Yor? - Pue' si te lo cuento chico! - Y Que fue lo que ma' te gu'to de Nueva Yor. - Madona. - Madona! No me cuente chico! Y que fue lo que ma' te gu'to de madona. - Pue' lo' Ma'nuggets. ...


0 Comentarios, 22 Vistas, 4 Votos ,4.80 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
unos chistes mas   28/10/2007

Había una vez un niñito que va a bautizar a su hermano al Vaticano y el Papa le dice: ¿cómo se va llamar la criatura? El responde: Zanahoria. El Papa le dice: pero mijito ese nombre no existe! Y el niñito le dice: ah, si, ¿y cómo usted se llama papa?

A un hombre le detectan cáncer a los testículos y por lo tanto lo operan y lamentablemente se los tienen que cortar.

Ya ...


0 Comentarios, 28 Vistas, 2 Votos ,3.81 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
unos chistes cortos   28/10/2007

El portero de la cámara de diputados dice: - Señor saque su auto de aquí, que van a salir los diputados!

Y el señor responde: - No se preocupe, si tengo seguro antirrobo!

Un físico, un químico y un programador van en un auto por la carretera. De repente, el auto comienza a hacer un ruido extraño. Paran el auto, y dejando el motor en marcha elucubran sobre lo que sucede ...


0 Comentarios, 15 Vistas, 3 Votos ,3.92 Puntuación
manuvigo 56 H
11 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Mis cortinas   29/9/2007

Perdone, señor, esto es para una encuesta, su mujer grita cuando hacen el amor? Pues si, si, bastante. lo hace durante, después, antes...? No, lo hace después, cuando me limpio el pene con las cortinas
...


0 Comentarios, 40 Vistas, 2 Votos ,3.81 Puntuación
manuvigo 56 H
11 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Monja Picante   29/9/2007

[bg border=0 bgcolor=blue cellpadding=15][font face=Comic Sans MS]Una monja iba caminando con un grupo de internas por un pasillo, cuando ve un hombre bien formado y tirado en el suelo, ella piensa que sus alumnas no deben ver eso y decide sacrificar su pudor y sentarse sobre el hombre, tápandolo con su hábito, al poco rato de estar sentada, empieza a rezar:

...



1 Comentarios, 45 Vistas, 5 Votos ,3.47 Puntuación
manuvigo 56 H
11 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
grillos??   29/9/2007

[bg border=0 bgcolor=blue cellpadding=15][font face=Comic Sans MS]Un tio se lleva a una tia a la casa de campo para hacer lo que todos nos imaginamos dentro del coche. La tia intenta dar un poco de romanticismo al asunto para ocultar su verguenza y dice: Mariano, no es romantico el sonido de los grillos que se oye entre la maleza? Grillos? Ese sonido no es de grillos, es ...


0 Comentarios, 24 Vistas, 4 Votos ,3.25 Puntuación
manuvigo 56 H
11 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Buen invento.. la aspirina   27/9/2007

[bg border=0 bgcolor=blue cellpadding=15][font face=Comic Sans MS]El marido sale del baño desnudo y empieza a meterse a la cama listo para brincarle a su mujer, cuando ella se queja diciendo como siempre:

- "Tengo dolor de cabeza" - "Perfecto", -responde el marido...- "Casualmente estaba en el baño espolvoreándome el pene con aspirina...: La puedes tomar oral ...



0 Comentarios, 31 Vistas, 2 Votos ,3.81 Puntuación
manuvigo 56 H
11 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
5-6   27/9/2007

[bg border=0 bgcolor=blue cellpadding=15][font face=Comic Sans MS]Este es Luis que le oye decir a su papa: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Luis le pregunta a su papá ¿papá que haces? pues es muy facil , mira:

1 entro en la habitación, 2 ella entra, 3 me desnudo, 4 se desnuda, 5 se la meto, 6 se la saco, 7 me visto, 8 se viste, 9 me salgo, 10 se sale.

Luis al ...



0 Comentarios, 20 Vistas, 1 Votos ,2.40 Puntuación
manuvigo 56 H
11 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Dientes de leche   25/9/2007

Una de seis años entra en una farmacia y pide un paquete de condones, a lo que el farmaceutico le responde sorprendido: Pero si todavía tienes los dientes de leche!!

Y la le dice limpiandose los dientes: Uy, perdón no me había dado cuenta
...


1 Comentarios, 76 Vistas, 3 Votos ,4.41 Puntuación
manuvigo 56 H
11 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Corazón, corazón :)   25/9/2007

Mama, mama los corazones tienen piernas? No Pues papa esta diciendo en la habitacion de la criada: Abrete de piernas corazn
...


0 Comentarios, 14 Vistas, 2 Votos ,2.42 Puntuación
manuvigo 56 H
11 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Mas hijos ???   24/9/2007

[bg border=0 bgcolor=blue cellpadding=15][font face=Comic Sans MS]Un abogado mantiene un romance con su secretaria. .....Al poco tiempo, ésta queda embarazada y el abogado, que no quiere que su Esposa se entere, le da a la secretaria una buena suma de dinero y le pide que se vaya a parir a Italia.

Ésta pregunta: "¿Y como voy a hacerte saber cuando nazca el ...



0 Comentarios, 18 Vistas, 3 Votos ,4.41 Puntuación
manuvigo 56 H
11 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
chiste informtico   24/9/2007

[bg border=0 bgcolor=blue cellpadding=15][font face=Comic Sans MS]Un informático de toda la vida decidio por fin tomarse unas vacaciones. Hizo una reserva para un crucero por el Caribe y se dispuso a pasar la mejor epoca de su vida.. por el momento. De forma inesperada, se formo un tifón que hizo naufragar el barco en pocos minutos.

Cuando el hombre volvio en ...



0 Comentarios, 22 Vistas, 5 Votos ,3.80 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
unos chistes cortos   19/9/2007

Mamá, mamá, en la escuela me dicen interesado. ¿y por que te dicen así? Si me das $5 te lo digo.

Primer acto: una banana no acepta plata. Segundo acto:una banana no acepta plata. Tercer acto: una banana no acepta plata. ¿Cómo se llama la obra? PLATAno

¿Cuál es la diferencia entre terrible y horrible? La diferencia es que terrible es que venga una ola del mar y se lleve a ...


0 Comentarios, 17 Vistas, 4 Votos ,4.02 Puntuación
alfa0045 75 H
2 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
POR QUE DECIMOS QUE LAS MUJERES SON CURIOSAS?   30/8/2007

Una monja tiene una urgente necesidad de ir al baño, así que se mete en un Bar muy popular de la localidad. El sitio estaba full con música y conversaciones a todo volumen y de vez en Cuando las luces del local se apagaban totalmente. Cada vez que esto sucedía, el lugar se encendía en aplausos eufóricos por Parte de la concurrencia. Sin embargo, cuando los parranderos ...


0 Comentarios, 33 Vistas, 3 Votos ,4.41 Puntuación
manuvigo 56 H
11 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Por favor , unas pizzas !!1   26/5/2007

Entra un tipo con 2 chicas despanpanantesa una pizzera.

Hola , me pone 2 pizzas 4 quesos !!

El encargado contesta: - Familiares?

a lo que el hombre responde: No, son putas, y tienen hambre
...


1 Comentarios, 56 Vistas, 5 Votos ,3.14 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
jejeje los hijos o los jijos ? jejeje   2/10/2006

Los hijos dan muchas satisfacciones. A mi, el mío me ha dado innumerables, no lo negaré, sobre todo cuando era pequeño. Se me caía la baba con cada cosa que hacía. Es verdad que he sido un poco blando, ¡hasta me alegre por su primer suspenso! Dije: "mira, como su padre!". Pero esa emoción que sientes con el primer diente se te pasa cuando ya le has empastado cinco muelas. Por ...


0 Comentarios, 52 Vistas, 4 Votos ,5.19 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
jejeje   2/10/2006

Operador del Centro de Atención al de Novell NetWare: * Usuario: "Hola, ¿Es el Servico Técnico?" * Técnico: "Si, aquí es. ¿En qué puedo ayudarle?." * Usuario: "El portavasos de mi PC se ha roto y como estoy todavía en garantia me gustaría que me lo sustituyeran. ¿Qué tengo que hacer?". * Técnico:" Disculpe. ¿Ha dicho "portavasos"? * Usuario: "Síi. Está incorporado ...


0 Comentarios, 34 Vistas, 2 Votos ,3.81 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
chistessss   2/10/2006

1. Otro usuario de Dell llamó quejándose de que su teclado había dejado de funcionar. El técnico le preguntó sobre las condiciones de conservación del mismo y el le respondió orgullosamente que por estar sucio no podía ser: "Lo he limpiado hoy mismo sacando una por una todas las teclas y limpiando el armazón con agua, abundante jabón y un cepillo".
2. Un técnico de ...


0 Comentarios, 275 Vistas, 3 Votos ,2.94 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
chistes siii   2/10/2006

1. La empresa Compaq ha considerado seriamente sustituir la instruccion "Press Any Key to Continue" por "Press Intro" debido a las llamadas que preguntaban donde se encontraba la maldita tecla "Any".
2. El servicio de apoyo técnico de AST recibió una llamada de queja sobre lo difícil que resultaba manejar el ratón con la protección para el polvo puesta. La "protección para ...


0 Comentarios, 50 Vistas, 3 Votos ,2.94 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
fracesillas   10/9/2006

"La vida está en movimiento constante". Parkinson.
"No hay nada tan importante que no podamos olvidarlo". Alzheimer.
"Mi vida está llena de aspiraciones". Un asmático.
"El día que nosotros gobernemos todos temblarán". Un epiléptico.
"Vayamos al grano". Un dermatólogo.
"No a la donación de órganos". Yamaha Instruments.
"Mi esposa tiene ...


1 Comentarios, 1481 Vistas, 16 Votos ,5.33 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Tu la primera letra de nombre y el sexo   10/9/2006

-A-
No eres particularmente romántico, pero eres interesante en acción. Siempre estas ocupado. Contigo, lo que ves es lo que tienes. No tienes paciencia para estar flirteando y no te molesta cuando alguien trata de tímido, lindo o sutilmente excitante. Siempre estas frente a frente con la otra persona. Cuando se trata de sexo lo que cuenta es la acción y no trucos oscuros. Para ...


0 Comentarios, 201 Vistas, 1 Votos ,5.00 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Windows Vista   10/9/2006

Un le pregunta a su padre:



¿Que es Windows Vista 64bits?
Este le responde:
“Bueno, es un S.O. extendido para 64bits proveniente de uno de 32bit, el cual es un emulador gráfico de comandos de 16bit parcheados para un sistema operativo de 8bits que fue creado para procesadores de 4bits, y comprado a una compañía productora de software de ...


0 Comentarios, 184 Vistas, 2 Votos ,4.50 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
El carnet de conducir   6/9/2006

El otro día dándole vueltas a la cabeza pensé en sacarme el carné de conducir. Pero es que hay un estrés, una presión... Sisi, no se rían, es que el nº de veces que te examines antes de sacarte el carné te marcará de por vida. La gente te preguntará: ¿Dónde estabas el día que murió Kennedy?, ¿Y el 11-S?, Y confiesa, ... ¿cuántas veces te has examinado para sacarte el ...


0 Comentarios, 269 Vistas, 2 Votos ,5.20 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
el famoso texto oculto   6/9/2006

Estimada señorita,
Apasionado y hondamente la quiero a Ud. jo- ven hermosa, como es natural yo deseo proce- der con toda prontitud y eficacia al fin de pre- sentarla luego al altar de la iglesia y no enga- ñarla vilmente, pues pienso que es usted la mas pu- ra y el modelo inevitable y mujer buena y cas- ta que pueda haber existido. Asimismo, deseo depositar en ...


0 Comentarios, 88 Vistas, 2 Votos ,4.50 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
2 Chistes cortos   6/9/2006

Un loco llega a la oficina del manicomio a quejarse: Buenas, vengo porque mi compañero de cuarto no me deja dormir. ¿Por qué?, le pregunta el secretario. El tiene complejo de motocicleta. ¿Y qué es lo que le molesta? ¿El ruido que él hace? No, lo que me molesta es el humo.
En cuantas partes se divide el cerebro de los politicos ? - Depende del numero de ...


0 Comentarios, 942 Vistas, 29 Votos ,3.54 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
unos cortitos   17/8/2006

Esto era un hombre tan bajito tan bajito que se encontró una canica y dice: "el mundo es mioooooo"
Por que la esposa de Hulk lo dejó? Porque ella quería un hombre más maduro...
Había una mujer tan flaca, tan flaca que se ponía un vestido rojo y parecia un arañazo.
Había una señora tan flaca, pero tan flaca que se tragó una nuez y pensaron que estaba ...


0 Comentarios, 45 Vistas, 1 Votos ,5.00 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
La mentira   17/8/2006

-Doctor la noche pasada practique sexo con mi mujer 8 veces.. eso es bueno o malo? A lo que el doctor responde: - Eso es mentira, amigo.


0 Comentarios, 141 Vistas, 3 Votos ,2.45 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
el mani   17/8/2006

Mama, Mama, mi hermanito tiene el pene como un man. - Chiquito? - No, saladito!


0 Comentarios, 49 Vistas, 2 Votos ,3.81 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Uno cruel   10/8/2006

Había una vez un enanito que entra en un bar, saluda a todo el mundo, y llega hasta donde está la persona que sirve el trago, pero no alcanza, y empieza a saltar diciendo: "¡UN WHISKY, POR FAVOR! ¡UN WHISKyY, POR FAVOR!" Así varias veces, hasta que se cansó de saltar porque nadie lo atendía, y se dió cuenta que había una silla donde subirse para ver por qué nadie le atendía, y ...


0 Comentarios, 787 Vistas, 61 Votos ,3.49 Puntuación
acidsea 54 H
125 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
DIALOGO ENTRE EL PIE Y EL PENE   8/8/2006

El pie mira para arriba y ve que el pene lo estaba mirando, entonces le pregunta: ¿Cómo andás? Como el murciélago, siempre colgado cabeza abajo, y a vos ¿cómo te trata? Excelente fíjate que en las mañanas para que no toque el suelo frío me pone unas chancletas, se mete a bañar me lava muy bien entre todos mis deditos, después me seca muy bien, me pone talquito, luego me enfunda ...


0 Comentarios, 276 Vistas, 8 Votos ,3.94 Puntuación
elpunk20 32 H
11 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
PORN OPERA   7/5/2006

La vanidad masculina no conoce límites. En las películas pornográficas aparecen mujeres extasiadas que se derriten en gritos de placer. Pero esos gritos, que se conocen en la industria como ?porn opera?, los graban en un estudio después de la filmación. Las mujeres tienen fama de mejores trabajadoras: no necesitan hacer tantas repeticiones y por eso gastan menos tiempo de grabación. ...


3 Comentarios, 367 Vistas, 15 Votos ,2.67 Puntuación
_SOMBRA_ 43 H
2 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
No entienden el ...mmm...   6/2/2006

Estando en la habitacion y ya muy calentones... <br> {TINA} Chinito ya quitate la ropa. {NITO} mmm...En un ratito me la saco. {TINA} Chino...te la sacas o te la saco. {NITO} Ok..Ok..Ok..voy al bao y me la saco. {TINA} Chino ya apurate...ya estoy mojadita. {NITO} mmm...Ahorita salgo mi amor. {TINA} Apura...mi zorrita necesita tu pajarito...!!! {NITO} mmm...esperame con ...


0 Comentarios, 134 Vistas, 7 Votos
_SOMBRA_ 43 H
2 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
No entienden el...mmm...   6/2/2006

Estando en la habitacion y ya muy calentones... <br> {TINA} Chinito ya quitate la ropa. {NITO} mmm...En un ratito me la saco. {TINA} Chino...te la sacas o te la saco. {NITO} Ok..Ok..Ok..voy al bao y me la saco. {TINA} Chino ya apurate...ya estoy mojadita. {NITO} mmm...Ahorita salgo mi amor. {TINA} Apura...mi zorrita necesita tu pajarito...!!! {NITO} mmm...esperame con ...


0 Comentarios, 193 Vistas, 7 Votos ,0.75 Puntuación
amor779 53 M
54 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Habian 2 protitutas en............   1/11/2005

Habian 2 prostitutas en un ascensor y una le dice a la otra , "hay olor a pene" y la otra le contesta perdona es que se me olvido lavarme los dientes . ...


0 Comentarios, 496 Vistas, 26 Votos ,2.59 Puntuación
amor779 53 M
54 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Estas era 3 hormiguitas que querian dormir en el cuerpo....   1/11/2005

Estas eran tres hormiguitas que querian dormir en el cuerpo.una durmió en los pechos, otra en la barriga y la otra en la vagina. al día siguiente despiertan y preguntan como durmieron la de los pechos: -muy bien.hasta leche tomé la de la barriga: -regular no más.el ruido de las tripas no me dejó dormir. y la de la vagina: -pesimo;habia un cabezón que entraba y salia.lo golpee y ...


0 Comentarios, 438 Vistas, 32 Votos ,2.77 Puntuación
amor779 53 M
54 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
En el circo...un burro   1/11/2005

El espectaculo mayor de un circo era la actuación de un burro con todos sus atributos. en una función una persona del publico desafio, por cien dolares, al dueño a que haría reir a carcajadas al burro. aceptada la apuesta el desafiante habló al oido al animal, el cual comenzó a reir sin parar. en este punto el animador y dueño del burro, luego de aceptar como válida la acción, ...


0 Comentarios, 724 Vistas, 76 Votos ,4.05 Puntuación
amor779 53 M
54 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Estaban un zoofilico, un sadico, un necrofilo,un piromano y un masoquista aburridos y............   30/10/2005

Estaban en una reunión un zoofilico(fanatico sexo con animales), un sádico, un necrófilo(fanatico sexo con muertos), un piromano, y un masoquista.y estaban bien aburridos: el zoofilico dice:vamos a violarnos al gato! el sádico dice:vamos a violarnos al gato y le damos una paliza! el asesino dice:vamos a violarnos al gato, darle una paliza y a matarlo! el necrófilo dice:vamos a ...


0 Comentarios, 538 Vistas, 31 Votos ,3.43 Puntuación
amor779 53 M
54 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
UNA REATA ....UNA HORMIGA   28/10/2005

Era una vez , una hormiga que pasaba por la selva en eso escucha a un burro gritando: -ayuda, saquenme de aqui!!!! entonces la hormiga va enseguida y ve a el burro hundiendose en un pantano en eso le dice el burro: -pequea hormiga sacame de aqui!!! entonses la hormiga le dice: -como te saco de ahi? (entonces razonando voltea atras) !!sorpresa ve una cuerda y un mercedez benz ...


0 Comentarios, 184 Vistas, 11 Votos
amor779 53 M
54 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
paletas paletas paletas ADIVINEN DE QUE??   24/10/2005

Se subio un tipo a vender paletas en un autobus. el tipo gritaba -paletas .paletaaasss. paletass- con sabor a chocha. lleve sus paletas paletas. <br> la gente lo miraba las mujeres se reian. y una con otra se sonreian. y el tipo gritaba - paletas con sabor a chocha cuantas paletas . lleve sus paletas. muy atras del autobus un grupo de jovenes se reian. uno de ellos se ...


0 Comentarios, 169 Vistas, 15 Votos ,1.60 Puntuación
amor779 53 M
54 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
chica embarazada   20/10/2005

Esto es un pueblo pequeño y una chica queda embarazada y nadie dice quien es el padre. entonces el cura del pueblo en el sermón del domingo se sube al pulpito y dice ya que nadie quiere ser el padre del de lolita yo desde aqui voy a coger una miga de pan y lo voy a tirar y aquel que le de la miga de pan ese es el padre. asi que coge el cura la miga de pan y la tira, la miga rebota en ...


0 Comentarios, 235 Vistas, 16 Votos ,2.25 Puntuación
amor779 53 M
54 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
PEPITO   17/10/2005

Llega Pepito con su pap y le dice: papi mis calificaciones Pap: que un 6 Pepito, tanto que me esfuerzo trabajando para esto; esto se merece una golpiza Pepito: no hay problema, yo le digo donde vive la profesora.


0 Comentarios, 185 Vistas, 9 Votos ,2.78 Puntuación
amor779 53 M
54 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
LA RANA DE LOS DESEOS (( NO SUBESTIMES A UNA MUJER))   16/10/2005

La rana de los deseos Una mujer estaba jugando golf un dia cuando su pelota fue a parar en el bosque. Fue a buscarla y encontró a una rana en una trampa. La rana le dijo: "- Si me liberas de esta trampa, te concederé tres deseos" La mujer libero a la Rana y esta le dijo: -Gracias, pero no te mencione que había una condición a tus deseos, cualquier cosa que tu desees, a tu ...


0 Comentarios, 132 Vistas, 13 Votos ,4.32 Puntuación
amor779 53 M
54 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
TERAPIA SEXUAL   16/10/2005

TERAPIA SEXUAL <br> <br> Una pareja de maduros acude a la consulta de un terapeuta sexual. Sin muchos preàmbulos, el caballero le dice: - Doctor ¿podria observarnos mientras hacemos el amor? <br> <br> El doctor queda un poco sorprendido ante la propuesta, pero acepta... Cuando la pareja termina, el doctor les dice: <br> ...


0 Comentarios, 135 Vistas, 11 Votos ,4.29 Puntuación
amor779 53 M
54 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
EN UN COLEGIO   16/10/2005

En un colegio estaba la profesora enseñando etiqueta, protocolo y buenas costumbres; al final de la clase les dice. "bueno chicos ahora vamos a ver un ejemplo práctico sobre protocolo y etiqueta". y pregunta "han invitado a cenar a una chica y de pronto les dan ganas de ir al baño.¿cómo se levantarían de la mesa para ir al baño?" pepito levanta la mano y la profesora le dice que ...


0 Comentarios, 128 Vistas, 10 Votos ,4.18 Puntuación
amor779 53 M
54 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
PEPITO YA VA AL BANO SOLO?   16/10/2005

Pepito ya va al bao solo. pepito es encargado con la servienta mientras su su mama realiza su trabajo, de repente pepito le avisa a la sirvienta que va a ir al bao, al llegar a este se acerca al w.c. se baja el siper y de puntitas para alcanzar inicia su necesidad al terminar si querer se regresa la tapa del w.c. y le machuca su miembro y pepito se agarra y empieza a llorar a gritos por ...


0 Comentarios, 129 Vistas, 9 Votos ,3.21 Puntuación
amor779 53 M
54 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
TRES MONJITAS   16/10/2005

Se encontraban tres monjitas en el convento platicando: -el día que me tocó hacer la limpieza en el cuarto del padre- dice la primer monja- me encontre unos condones en su cajón <br> -y que hiciste-pregunta la segunda monja- persinandose a la vez. <br> -pues agarré un alfiler y le empezé a hacer muchos agujeros- <br> en seguida dijo eso y la tercera moja se ...


0 Comentarios, 138 Vistas, 12 Votos ,3.33 Puntuación
amor779 53 M
54 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Un viejito??   16/10/2005

Un viejito que padecía de amnesia muere y va al cielo y se encuentra con pedro: <br> -cuentame algo de tu vida-dice pedro <br> -no recuerdo casi nada solamente que yo era carpintero y mi era un milagro-dice el viejito <br> sorprendido pedro llama a jesús: <br> -jesús, creo que hemos encontrado a tu padre- <br> jesús con los brazos extendido ...


1 Comentarios, 282 Vistas, 22 Votos ,3.61 Puntuación
Mait 53 M
2 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
¿Son todos iguales?, ¿son complicados?   5/10/2005

ASI SON LOS HOMBRES <br> * Los Hombres que son buena gente, son feos. <br> * Los Hombres guapos, no son buena gente. <br> * Los Hombres guapos y buena gente, son gays. <br> * Los Hombres guapos, buena gente y heterosexuales están casados. <br> * Los Hombres no tan guapos pero buena gente, no tienen dinero. <br> * Los Hombres no tan ...


4 Comentarios, 325 Vistas, 22 Votos ,4.33 Puntuación
Adoga 46 P
4 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Comentario humoristico a las 55 reglas de oro de la esclava   7/12/2004

Las 55 reglas de oro de una esclava. <br> <br> <br> Estas que encontrareis a continuación resumidas en 55 puntos son las normas básicas de comportamiento que un amo debería inculcar a su esclava a lo largo del proceso de doma y aprendizaje con la finalidad de determinar con meridiana claridad los roles que son propios de una buena y completa relación ...


0 Comentarios, 399 Vistas, 33 Votos ,3.06 Puntuación
tazdawg46 54 H
41 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
toliet paper ...............   18/3/2024

this rabbit is sitting under a tree taking his morning dump and along walks a big bear and leans against the tree and the little rabbit is so scared that he is clinched up too tight to squeeze one out the bear notices him and says morning rabbit to which the rabbit replies m m morning mr bear while trying his best to finish and run away <br><br> the bear grunts a couple times and ...


0 Comentarios, 3 Vistas, 0 Votos
AmandaObey 57 M
1 Artículo
Puntuación 0.0
The Heaven year itch   18/2/2024

When you die and go up rather than down, you are asked a question and must answer it correctly to pass through the gates. There is a blonde ahead of me ready to be asked her question and she is all fidgety and nervous ... I heard St Peter mutter to himself, 'Lord Father, she seems like a nice girl so I will ask her an easy question'... So he asks her , 'What is the name of Gods only ...


0 Comentarios, 5 Vistas, 2 Votos ,0.34 Puntuación
AmandaObey 57 M
1 Artículo
Puntuación 0.0
SLUt....(SaltLake, Ut)   18/2/2024

Back about 10 years ago I was living quite well on the Jersey shore. Had a great job, beautiful Benz, spent weekends back up in my hometown next to NYC, spent lots of time at the beach or on the water, had good times in AC or up in Philly.... It was great ! When I talk about it to people now they often will ask, 'So what on earth brought you to Salt Lake City ?' And I tell them ...


0 Comentarios, 4 Vistas, 1 Votos
slaveyearning 43 M
35 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
why dont you diet ?   30/11/2023

fat guy in locker room shower and guy walks in and asks. "how long since you seen your dick " fat guy says ... long time guy says "why dont you diet ? fat guy says " why what color is it now ? <br><br> <br><br> please comment


0 Comentarios, 29 Vistas, 20 Votos
Victorioussf 40 H
1 Artículo
Puntuación 0.0
I like my women like I like my coffee   19/10/2023

I send it back for not being hot enough!


1 Comentarios, 28 Vistas, 23 Votos
Springfiel117 43 H
18 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Meh   10/10/2023

When did the messenger stop letting new members message people using points?


0 Comentarios, 26 Vistas, 20 Votos ,0.06 Puntuación
DracwulaX 53 H
1 Artículo
Puntuación 0.0
The Engagement Ring   9/10/2023

The kinky couples had a long & restless weekend, husband uses his free hand & pushes his wife's belly in ward, he said ... "Don't move my love ... I think I found our engagement ring"... he pulls his wrist out of her ass... curious, he then said... "This isn't mine".


0 Comentarios, 14 Vistas, 6 Votos ,0.52 Puntuación
sisyforblackcock 66 H
1 Artículo
Puntuación 0.0
joke   9/8/2023

question what's better than a dozen roses on a piano <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> answer tulips (two lips) on an organ


1 Comentarios, 34 Vistas, 30 Votos
slaveyearning 43 M
35 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
guaranteed weight loss   4/5/2023

man walking down the street and sees a sign that says guaranteed weight loss. <br><br> he goes inside and sees a real beauty at the desk and asks about the sign and she explains. pay 100.00 and we guarantee 10lbs weight loss in one day. excited he pays her the money and she instructs him to strip off his clothes and go into the room with the green door. inside he finds the most ...


3 Comentarios, 102 Vistas, 33 Votos ,1.04 Puntuación
Bootman622 61 H
1 Artículo
Puntuación 0.0
The Biker   30/3/2023

A man riding his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish. <br><br> The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want." <br><br> The Lord said, ...


1 Comentarios, 75 Vistas, 32 Votos ,0.71 Puntuación
Mr_X75 48 H
1 Artículo
Puntuación 0.0
How do you piss off Whinney The Pooh?   8/3/2023

Stick two fingers in his honey ...


1 Comentarios, 85 Vistas, 67 Votos
4isbig 46 H
1 Artículo
Puntuación 0.0
I flirted with disaster last night   11/12/2022

Now disaster won’t stop texting me.


0 Comentarios, 85 Vistas, 79 Votos
Yorksintoon 54 H
4 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Succeed   11/10/2022

If at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking until you do suck seed.


0 Comentarios, 168 Vistas, 150 Votos
Yorksintoon 54 H
4 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Sperm   3/10/2022

Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.


1 Comentarios, 153 Vistas, 138 Votos
Yorksintoon 54 H
4 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Give it to me!   3/10/2022

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.


2 Comentarios, 150 Vistas, 126 Votos
Yorksintoon 54 H
4 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Sex Tape   25/9/2022

My neighbours just made a sex tape. of course, they don't know yet.


1 Comentarios, 128 Vistas, 110 Votos
MasterP2022 43 H
2 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Fishing   2/8/2022

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.


1 Comentarios, 177 Vistas, 153 Votos
MasterP2022 43 H
2 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Mobster joke   2/8/2022

What do you call a mobster who’s buried in cement? A hardened criminal.


1 Comentarios, 152 Vistas, 139 Votos
SexyLilTart21 24 M
1 Artículo
Puntuación 0.0
just coz   26/7/2022

ignore this plz..


1 Comentarios, 52 Vistas, 41 Votos ,0.33 Puntuación
jthpbigck84 37 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Any?   14/7/2022

Any funny sex jokes anyone would like to share? I think we can all use a laugh!


0 Comentarios, 173 Vistas, 159 Votos
breederdad4677 43 H
1 Artículo
Puntuación 0.0
coins   4/7/2022

just for coins


0 Comentarios, 0 Vistas, 0 Votos
UpstateDom30 32 H
3 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
A common theme   26/6/2022

I see a lot of posts for points


0 Comentarios, 152 Vistas, 133 Votos
UpstateDom30 32 H
3 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
A common theme   26/6/2022

I see a lot of posts for points


1 Comentarios, 132 Vistas, 121 Votos
UpstateDom30 32 H
3 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
A common theme   26/6/2022

I see a lot of posts for points


2 Comentarios, 97 Vistas, 85 Votos
lonelymom4play 46 M
1 Artículo
Puntuación 0.0
hmm   14/5/2022

for points bcoz im poor


4 Comentarios, 142 Vistas, 115 Votos ,0.08 Puntuación
chfnut55 68 H
1 Artículo
Puntuación 0.0
Confronting hate   30/3/2022

hi-speed lead posioning is needed. What is the difference between flying pigs and politicians? The letter F. Three tampons sitting at a bus stop. What do they say to each other? Nothing. They’re stuck-up cunts. All the richest people in Congress are Democrats, ever wonder why?


2 Comentarios, 79 Vistas, 54 Votos ,0.08 Puntuación
Rubicon447 63 H
2 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
points   15/3/2022

just for points


1 Comentarios, 111 Vistas, 102 Votos
staggerlee7819 45 H
3 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
A laughting motorcycle   16/8/2021

What do you call a laughting motorcycle? <br><br> A Yamahahaha


5 Comentarios, 213 Vistas, 183 Votos
jthpbigck69 39 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Any funny Sex Stories   12/8/2021

Anyone love to share something funny that has occurred in bed?


2 Comentarios, 159 Vistas, 140 Votos
staggerlee7819 45 H
3 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Airplanes   11/8/2021

I have a joke about airplanes, but it seems to go over peoples heads.


2 Comentarios, 169 Vistas, 151 Votos
JTP84HUGE1 39 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
SEX Jokes   26/7/2021

Anyone have some funny jokes or stories that have occurred while in the sack?


0 Comentarios, 119 Vistas, 101 Votos
jtphugeone69 39 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
JOKERS   5/5/2021

Any funny sex jokes out there?


0 Comentarios, 117 Vistas, 104 Votos
staggerlee7819 45 H
3 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
bad joke   28/4/2021

man walks into a bar.... ouch!


2 Comentarios, 169 Vistas, 136 Votos
JTHPBIGONE69 39 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Funny   8/4/2021

An funny sex jokes out there?


0 Comentarios, 98 Vistas, 88 Votos
ClimaxHer 65 H
6 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Vaccine joke   26/2/2021

If we get our Covid vaccine shot in our butt, can we call that shot a "Butta-Fauci?"


3 Comentarios, 173 Vistas, 158 Votos
ClimaxHer 65 H
6 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Mask-cott   25/2/2021

If we boycott the mask mandates, can we that a "Mask-cott"?


2 Comentarios, 155 Vistas, 140 Votos
ClimaxHer 65 H
6 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Canine quarantine   21/2/2021

The World Health Organization, W.H.O., is concerned that the new virus will spread to dogs. Therefore they have ordered all dogs worldwide to be quarantined for 14 to keep dogs safe from the new covid virus. 15 days from now you can release your dog out of quarantine, and then you can sing "W.H.O. let the dogs out?"


6 Comentarios, 124 Vistas, 103 Votos
Rubicon447 63 H
2 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Bad dad joke   3/2/2021

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire!


4 Comentarios, 142 Vistas, 123 Votos
daddy2_fuk_u 64 H
3 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Ladies and Gentlemen   6/1/2021

I give you all. <br><br> Joke ends


1 Comentarios, 59 Vistas, 48 Votos
jtpbigcck69 39 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Dirty jokes   9/10/2020

Anyone have good dirty jokes to share? lol


2 Comentarios, 85 Vistas, 71 Votos
jollygreenj1 66 H
2 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
kinsey   14/5/2020

Anyone else old enough remember the movie ""? They claimed Revel's Bolero was THE choice in banging music. Awhile later Kinsey did A study and OMG Bolero was America's choice. Incredibly enough for Gay Men their choice was also a classical piece the "William Bend Overture".


4 Comentarios, 254 Vistas, 223 Votos ,0.05 Puntuación
justanotherperv7 27 M
1 Artículo
Puntuación 0.0
ignore please :P   7/4/2020

taco butt


10 Comentarios, 369 Vistas, 301 Votos ,0.28 Puntuación
rikkalikestoo699 24 M
1 Artículo
Puntuación 0.0
please ignore   20/3/2020

just for coz im horny


0 Comentarios, 8 Vistas, 8 Votos ,1.62 Puntuación
tazdawg46 54 H
41 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
blonde school teacher   15/3/2020

a young blonde school teacher was trying to make her students understand blood circulation. after going over what the books said a couple of times she realized it was going to take more effort on her part to make them understand. since she was wearing pants she stood on her head against the wall for couple minutes. then she asked a couple of students to come up and make observations. one of them ...


2 Comentarios, 215 Vistas, 110 Votos ,0.26 Puntuación
Guard_u 43 H
2 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Making jokes of others 02   26/2/2020

I can imagine why some people make jokes of others.... Bottom line is that most of them have low self-esteem. What do u think ?


1 Comentarios, 184 Vistas, 166 Votos ,0.55 Puntuación
Guard_u 43 H
2 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Making jokes of others 01   12/2/2020

Telling jokes so every one laughs is one thing, making fun of someone is another. Making something thats funny a joke is something else than making him a joke ! ty


3 Comentarios, 194 Vistas, 177 Votos ,0.63 Puntuación
ForbiddenStudent 38 H
2 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Canadian joke   29/1/2020

How do you upset a Canadian? In conversation, say "oh, you meant ice hockey."


9 Comentarios, 300 Vistas, 238 Votos ,0.49 Puntuación
Stradolin 56 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Why?   16/1/2020

Why do women wake up and rub their eyes? <br><br> Because they don't have any balls to scratch.


6 Comentarios, 280 Vistas, 231 Votos ,0.73 Puntuación
Darkmatterwants 68 H
1 Artículo
Puntuación 0.0
Sexist   13/1/2020

Why do women have smaller feet than men? <br><br> To enable them to get closer to the kitchen sink!


0 Comentarios, 10 Vistas, 7 Votos ,1.77 Puntuación
RBlu1 49 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
How many good people   11/1/2020

Does it take to find


4 Comentarios, 245 Vistas, 197 Votos ,0.28 Puntuación
coffeebuddy4u 54 H
0 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Hunting Season   8/1/2020

A father goes hunting for some deer and he nails a beautiful 1o point buck butt does a bad job cleaning the meat when he makes it for dinner. His wife comes by later and says "Dear I was masturbating and I found a pellet." He thinks nothing of it and tell her not to worry about it. Later his daughter comes by says she got horny and found a pellet when she tried to fuck herself. He ...


3 Comentarios, 275 Vistas, 155 Votos ,1.37 Puntuación
ForbiddenStudent 38 H
2 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
A dad joke   5/1/2020

Did you hear about the Victoria's secret in Canada? They are thinking of changing their name to 'Panty Hosers'.


5 Comentarios, 176 Vistas, 144 Votos ,1.06 Puntuación
Stradolin 56 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
How Many?   1/1/2020

How many guitarists does it take change a light bulb? <br><br> . change it and 10 sit around and say, "I could have changed that way better!"


1 Comentarios, 97 Vistas, 86 Votos ,1.66 Puntuación
iwant2useu_uk 50 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
... dad joke ...   29/12/2019

"How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!"


1 Comentarios, 56 Vistas, 49 Votos ,0.57 Puntuación
jf23231 53 H
3 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
The doctor is in   26/12/2019

Knock knock


5 Comentarios, 65 Vistas, 37 Votos ,1.04 Puntuación
Stradolin 56 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
What's the difference?   26/12/2019

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? <br><br> The taste.


1 Comentarios, 34 Vistas, 24 Votos ,1.77 Puntuación
Niceblueeeyes36 47 H
9 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Barred2   23/12/2019

Bear walks into a bar. <br><br> Bear:- "one pint of .......................... beer please" <br><br> Barman:- "why the long pause?" <br><br> (Bear:- "waiting for more points")


2 Comentarios, 33 Vistas, 25 Votos ,1.47 Puntuación
Niceblueeeyes36 47 H
9 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Barred   23/12/2019

Horse walks into a bar. <br><br> Barman:- "why the long face?" <br><br> (Horse:- "Haven't got enough points to chat to someone...")


3 Comentarios, 22 Vistas, 14 Votos ,1.54 Puntuación
Niceblueeeyes36 47 H
9 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Hoping to make a good point.....   23/12/2019

<br><br> . <br><br> . <br><br> <br><br> . <br><br> . <br><br> . <br><br> . <br><br> . .... or 2 or 3.


2 Comentarios, 20 Vistas, 12 Votos ,0.86 Puntuación
iwant2useu_uk 50 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Dad Joke...   21/12/2019

What’s Beethoven doing in his grave... <br><br> De-composing


2 Comentarios, 17 Vistas, 13 Votos ,1.30 Puntuación
iwant2useu_uk 50 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Dad Joke . . .   19/12/2019

Which bear is the most condescending? A pan-duh!


0 Comentarios, 6 Vistas, 6 Votos ,1.37 Puntuación
Niceblueeeyes36 47 H
9 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
What goes up, and never comes down?..........................   12/12/2019

<br><br> . <br><br> . <br><br> . <br><br> . <br><br> . ..... the amount of points needed to chat to someone on IM!!


3 Comentarios, 12 Vistas, 5 Votos ,4.77 Puntuación
Niceblueeeyes36 47 H
9 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Getting all catty   10/12/2019

Entered my cat into the cat olympics milk drinking competition. She set a new lap record...


0 Comentarios, 6 Vistas, 4 Votos ,1.69 Puntuación
Niceblueeeyes36 47 H
9 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Just getting by.   10/12/2019

What's the point? where's the points?


0 Comentarios, 4 Vistas, 2 Votos ,3.81 Puntuación
Bbc4creampie 34 H
2 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
corner warmup   26/11/2019

why should you sit in a corner when you get cold? because most corners are 90 degrees.


2 Comentarios, 16 Vistas, 9 Votos ,2.57 Puntuación
Bbc4creampie 34 H
2 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
pirate pay   26/11/2019

how much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook? an arm and a leg.


2 Comentarios, 13 Vistas, 10 Votos ,2.19 Puntuación
thtwtwy765 37 M
3 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
A joke is a short humorous piece of oral literature in which the funniness culminates in the final s   6/11/2019

A joke is a short humorous piece of oral literature in which the funniness culminates in the final sentence, called the punchline… In fact, the main condition is that the tension should reach its highest level at the very end. No continuation relieving the tension should be added. As for its being "oral, " it is true that jokes may appear printed, but when further transferred, there ...


5 Comentarios, 50 Vistas, 18 Votos ,4.08 Puntuación
knott4milfs 30 H
13 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
watching   5/11/2019

watching drunk bitches get drunk and start to fight and watching them fight is funny


0 Comentarios, 7 Vistas, 4 Votos ,3.63 Puntuación
iwant2useu_uk 50 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
cheesy joke....   2/11/2019

Where did you learn how to make ice cream? At sundae school.


2 Comentarios, 8 Vistas, 6 Votos ,1.94 Puntuación
Stradolin 56 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Difference?   30/10/2019

Q: What is the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? <br><br> A: The taste.


0 Comentarios, 4 Vistas, 3 Votos ,3.43 Puntuación
u_serve_me_now 47 H
2 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Chuck Norris   26/10/2019

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he already had three missed calls by Chuck Norris!


2 Comentarios, 12 Vistas, 7 Votos ,2.02 Puntuación
u_serve_me_now 47 H
2 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?   26/10/2019

How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> ... all! hahahah!


1 Comentarios, 13 Vistas, 9 Votos ,1.29 Puntuación
iwant2useu_uk 50 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
dad joke....   24/10/2019

"Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."


1 Comentarios, 6 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.47 Puntuación
Niceblueeeyes36 47 H
9 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
make your point   14/10/2019

Hoping to make lots of points here.


1 Comentarios, 6 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.08 Puntuación
Niceblueeeyes36 47 H
9 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
You old dog you   12/10/2019

What type of has magical powers.................................................................................................. ............................... ............................. ......................... .................. ............ .......... ...... A labracadabrador


0 Comentarios, 6 Vistas, 6 Votos ,1.94 Puntuación
Verycherry111 44 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Points   10/10/2019

Hey there, points points points.


0 Comentarios, 3 Vistas, 2 Votos ,1.04 Puntuación
Verycherry111 44 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Points   10/10/2019

Hey there, points points points.


2 Comentarios, 12 Vistas, 6 Votos ,1.37 Puntuación
Verycherry111 44 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Points   10/10/2019

Hey there, points points points.


0 Comentarios, 6 Vistas, 5 Votos ,2.16 Puntuación
Verycherry111 44 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Points   10/10/2019

Hey there, points points points.


0 Comentarios, 5 Vistas, 4 Votos ,1.69 Puntuación
Verycherry111 44 H
5 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Points   10/10/2019

Hey there, points points points.


0 Comentarios, 3 Vistas, 3 Votos ,1.96 Puntuación
Niceblueeeyes36 47 H
9 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Oranges and lemons   9/10/2019

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot.......................... <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> ................... a carrot.


0 Comentarios, 8 Vistas, 6 Votos ,2.23 Puntuación
dog4milfs12 23 H
12 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
looking at you   5/10/2019

looking for a woman here can be very hard because all they want is what they prefer there wants most of the ladies here don;t even realize that they are way off on there wants there nothing here that is perfect you want all that tell we see your picture and we see that your fucking joking ladies wake up this is not fantasy world your not everything you though you where believe most men here at ...


0 Comentarios, 16 Vistas, 9 Votos ,1.29 Puntuación
dog4milfs12 23 H
12 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
dirty   3/10/2019

meeting new mature woman is a joke because some are sooo serious and some are soo picky come on you are too picky your mature you dont have the same when you where soooo quit being sooo picky


0 Comentarios, 15 Vistas, 9 Votos ,0.86 Puntuación
xextrax 54 H
7 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
what did the cock say ... ?   26/8/2019

what did the cock say to the pussy? <br><br> why, 'yes', of course!


0 Comentarios, 24 Vistas, 16 Votos ,1.66 Puntuación
jf23231a 53 H
1 Artículo
Puntuación 0.0
Knock Knock   19/6/2019

whos there ?


3 Comentarios, 26 Vistas, 11 Votos ,0.92 Puntuación
meki871987 36 H
1 Artículo
Puntuación 0.0
I always laugth on this   9/1/2019

This reminds me, when i was tied up by the first time, and suddenly I had to go to the bathroom, but I couldn't


6 Comentarios, 118 Vistas, 22 Votos ,6.37 Puntuación
ToniBiM 63 H
0 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
ER Visit   31/12/2018

A man goes into the ER complaining of anal pain. The doctor orders x-rays to see what's going on. When reviewing the x-rays they notice 3 plastic horse heads inside the man's ass. The nurse looks at the doctor and says... <br><br> "Doctor, will he be alright?" <br><br> The doctor replies.... <br><br> "Don't worry nurse he's ...


1 Comentarios, 28 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.86 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Tattoo   30/7/2018

A very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes him as a basketball player. They start to talk, and eventually, go back to his place. They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On his arm, he has a tattoo that says REEBOK. 'What's that?' the lady questions. 'Oh, I have this so that when I'm on TV, people will see my tattoo, and Reebok pays me.' ...


3 Comentarios, 81 Vistas, 15 Votos ,4.82 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Get well soon!   27/7/2018

A traffic cop was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well; however, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch. <br><br> Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn't told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at ...


4 Comentarios, 92 Vistas, 13 Votos ,4.65 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Prostitute Files Her Tax Return   27/7/2018

A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. <br><br> The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, and then asks, "What is your occupation?" The woman replies, "I'm a whore." The accountant balks and says, "No, no, ...


7 Comentarios, 105 Vistas, 16 Votos ,4.74 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Born When?   24/7/2018

I was chatting to this girl in the pub last night and told her of my uncanny ability to be able to tell the day any woman was born, simply by holding their breasts in my hands. <br><br> She thought I was having her on but was nonetheless very curious. <br><br> Eventually curiosity got the better of her and she said “Oh go-on then, give it a go!” <br><br> I ...


3 Comentarios, 58 Vistas, 10 Votos ,3.39 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
The Silent Treatment   23/7/2018

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00am for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00am" and left it where he knew she would find ...


0 Comentarios, 49 Vistas, 8 Votos ,3.25 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Confession   20/7/2018

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. <br><br> When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, The man said: 'Father ... During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic.' ...


2 Comentarios, 49 Vistas, 4 Votos ,3.63 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Getting The Most Out Of Counselling   15/7/2018

After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counselling. They had been at each other's throat for some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived at the counsellor's office, the counsellor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion. "What seems to be ...


2 Comentarios, 38 Vistas, 8 Votos ,2.32 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
The King And The Counts   15/7/2018

A King ordered the heads of several of his counts chopped off because they refused to reveal where they had buried their treasures. As the axes began to fall, one count decided to change his mind, but it was too late. Moral: Don't hatchet your counts before they chicken. !"


0 Comentarios, 24 Vistas, 5 Votos ,2.49 Puntuación
SoliceFun 40 H
0 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Small get together   12/7/2018

Son: There will be a small gathering in the school tomorrow. Please come. Dad: What do you mean? Who will be there? Son: Only you, me, and the school principal.


3 Comentarios, 116 Vistas, 12 Votos ,3.33 Puntuación
evansjih 35 H
1 Artículo
Puntuación 0.0
All idiot   12/7/2018

Teacher: All idiots stand up. A boy stands up. Teacher: So you are an idiot? Boy: No. I can’t bear your standing alone Sir.


3 Comentarios, 91 Vistas, 10 Votos ,5.18 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
THE HORTH WITHPERER   12/7/2018

Bob calls his buddy Sam, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. Sam asks "How will I recognize him?" "That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment." So, the midget shows up, and Sam asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse. "A female horth." So he shows him a prized filly. "Nith ...


2 Comentarios, 39 Vistas, 3 Votos ,3.43 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
The Golfer and the Leprechaun.   12/7/2018

An American golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him. "Arrgh! What happened?" the Leprechaun asked. "I'm afraid I hit you ...


1 Comentarios, 37 Vistas, 6 Votos ,4.22 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
My First Time   9/7/2018

It was my first time ever And I'll never forget I'd do it again Without a single regret. <br><br> The sky was dark The moon was high We were all alone Just she and I. <br><br> Her hair was soft Her eyes were blue I knew just what She wanted to do. <br><br> Her skin so soft Her legs so fine I ran my fingers Down her spine. <br><br> I ...


3 Comentarios, 35 Vistas, 6 Votos ,4.50 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Blonde Painting   9/7/2018

One day a blonde comes out of the tanning salon. She wants to make some money so she goes to one of the rich neighborhoods. She rings the door bell and says, "HI, is there anything I could do for your house or you???" <br><br> The man thinks and says, "Sure, can paint my porch. You will find all the stuff in the garage." <br><br> The girl says, ...


2 Comentarios, 37 Vistas, 7 Votos ,3.80 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
A Drunk   28/6/2018

A drunk walks out of a bar with akey in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, 'Can I help you Sir?' 'Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr', the man replies. The cop asks, 'Where was your car the last time you saw it?' 'It wasss on the end of thisshh key', the man replies. About that time the cop looks down ...


1 Comentarios, 38 Vistas, 10 Votos ,4.98 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Organist   28/6/2018

A small church had a very attractive big- busted organist and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. <br><br> Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist. <br><br> <br><br> So, one ...


1 Comentarios, 47 Vistas, 11 Votos ,5.04 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Finally a sensitive man   12/6/2018

A woman meets a good-looking man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There ! are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the ...


1 Comentarios, 48 Vistas, 12 Votos ,5.98 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
"I’ve outlived my dick." A Poem - by Willie Nelson   6/6/2018

My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out. What used to be my pride and joy, Is now my water spout. <br><br> Time was when, on its own accord, From my trousers it would spring. But now I've got a full time job, To find the friggin thing. <br><br> It used to be embarrassing, The way it would behave. For every single morning, It would stand and watch me shave. ...


0 Comentarios, 26 Vistas, 9 Votos ,5.99 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Senior Surgery   4/6/2018

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. 'Yes, dad, what is it?' 'Don't be nervous, son; Do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with ...


0 Comentarios, 36 Vistas, 7 Votos ,4.82 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
AN OVERWEIGHT BLONDE   4/6/2018

An overweight blonde went to see her doctor for some advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds. <br><br> The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the whole twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for ...


1 Comentarios, 41 Vistas, 14 Votos ,3.94 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Honesty   4/6/2018

A girl says to her mother "I know where babies come from Mummy. Sarah told me." Her mother replied "And where is that, dear?" The girl says "She said that you put Daddy's thing in your mouth, and stuff comes out, and goes in your belly and that's where babies grow." Her mother corrected her "No dear, that's where jewelry comes from."


1 Comentarios, 28 Vistas, 10 Votos ,4.38 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
My Travel Plans for 2018-2019   4/6/2018

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. <br><br> I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. <br><br> I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my ...


1 Comentarios, 23 Vistas, 5 Votos ,4.45 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Holiday Present   28/5/2018

Bob's wife is going off to Paris for a long weekend with her girlfriends. As he drives her to the airport, she says to him: <br><br> "Is there anything you'd like me to bring you back from Paris?" <br><br> Bob thinks about it for a while, and then jokes, "How about you bring me back a cute little French girl?" <br><br> Bob's wife ...


1 Comentarios, 39 Vistas, 11 Votos ,4.29 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Billy Bob and Luther   24/5/2018

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther" Ya knowI reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it A little different. The last few years I took your advice about where to go." "Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant." "Then two years ago you told me to go ...


0 Comentarios, 29 Vistas, 10 Votos ,4.78 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
WELL, I'LL BE DOG GONE   17/5/2018

A guy walks into a bar with his dog and says, "I'll have a otch and water and my dog would like a whiskey sour." <br><br> The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't allow animals in here." <br><br> The dog replies, "Hey, I'm tired of being diriminated against. Just give me a drink." <br><br> The bartender says, "Oh, no, ...


1 Comentarios, 45 Vistas, 8 Votos ,3.94 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Photo on the night stand   16/5/2018

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman's nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. <br><br> 'Is this your husband?' he nervously asks. <br><br> 'No, silly, ' she replies, snuggling up to him. <br><br> 'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues. <br><br> 'No, not at all, ...


1 Comentarios, 28 Vistas, 8 Votos ,3.25 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Underwear dust   3/5/2018

evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!' <br><br> His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. <br><br> The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. ...


2 Comentarios, 49 Vistas, 9 Votos ,2.14 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Fireman Sex   1/5/2018

A FIREMAN came home from work day and told his wife, 'You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go. <br><br> 'From now on when I say BELL 1 I want you to strip naked. <br><br> When I say BELL 2 I want you to ...


0 Comentarios, 31 Vistas, 3 Votos ,4.90 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
THE BOTTLE OF WINE   1/5/2018

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine: Mary was driving home from of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet , she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman ...


0 Comentarios, 25 Vistas, 3 Votos ,3.92 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
THE CORK   30/4/2018

Arab terrorists were in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class in Toronto, when notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his arse. If you do not mind me saying, " stated the second, "that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why don't you take it out?" I regret I cannot", lamented the first Arab. "It is permanently stuck in my arse." "I do ...


0 Comentarios, 34 Vistas, 5 Votos ,2.49 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
YOU CAN'T FOOL THE IRISH.......   30/4/2018

Mrs O'Brien comes to visit her son Seamus for 3 days in Dublin where he is studying. She finds out that her son lives with Vikki, a girl roomate. Mrs O'Brien couldn't but notice how pretty Seamus's room-mate was. She suspects of a relationship between the , and this had only made her more curious. Reading his Mum's thoughts, Seamus volunteered, "I know what you must be ...


0 Comentarios, 22 Vistas, 2 Votos ,5.20 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Cowboy   24/4/2018

Cowboy: GIVE ME 3 PACKETS OF CONDOMS PLEASE. <br><br> CASHIER: DO YOU NEED A PAPER BAG SIR? <br><br> Cowboy: NAH... SHE AIN'T THAT UGLY!


1 Comentarios, 17 Vistas, 6 Votos ,1.66 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
THE BOTTLE OF WINE   17/4/2018

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine: Mary was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo ...


0 Comentarios, 19 Vistas, 7 Votos ,3.30 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
YOU CAN'T FOOL THE IRISH.......   17/4/2018

Mrs O'Brien comes to visit her son Seamus for 3 days in Dublin where he is studying. She finds out that her son lives with Vikki, a girl roomate. Mrs O'Brien couldn't help but notice how pretty Seamus's room-mate was. She suspects of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Reading his Mum's thoughts, Seamus volunteered, "I know what you ...


2 Comentarios, 19 Vistas, 9 Votos ,3.21 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
WHEELIE BIN   17/4/2018

A dustman is going along a street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his dustcart. He gets to one house where the bin hasn't been left out so he has a quick look for it, (unusual I know), goes round the back but still can't see it, so he knocks on the door. There's no answer so he knocks again. Eventually a Japanese bloke answers... "Harro", says the ...


1 Comentarios, 22 Vistas, 8 Votos ,3.01 Puntuación
Youngknight00 27 H
4 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Blowjobs   13/4/2018

A husband comes home to find his wife packing a suitcase <br><br> "Where are you going?" He asked <br><br> "Las Vegas" she said' " You can get $400 for a blowjob there, so i figured i would get paid for something i give you for free" <br><br> "Hold on" He said " im coming too, i want to see you survive on only ...


1 Comentarios, 20 Vistas, 5 Votos ,3.14 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Disappointed   9/4/2018

A teacher asked her 6th grade class: “Who can tell me, which human organ becomes 10 times bigger when it’s stimulated?” <br><br> Maria stood up, bright red and angry, and said “How can you ask such a question? I’m telling my parents and they’re going to get you fired!” <br><br> The teacher was shocked by the outburst, but decided to ignore it. She asked the ...


1 Comentarios, 33 Vistas, 9 Votos ,2.57 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
A drover in the Northern Territories   8/4/2018

A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. <br><br> He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside. <br><br> Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. <br><br> 'Then he'll open his mouth and I'll ...


0 Comentarios, 15 Vistas, 5 Votos ,4.45 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Good Ears   28/3/2018

A young man moved into his first new apartment on his own, and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke ...


1 Comentarios, 45 Vistas, 7 Votos ,4.06 Puntuación
chaosridden 33 H
1 Artículo
Puntuación 0.0
:P pointless   15/3/2018

Baka la a derka derka


1 Comentarios, 6 Vistas, 2 Votos ,0.34 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Vanilla Pudding Robbery   13/3/2018

This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2. Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes ...


0 Comentarios, 32 Vistas, 9 Votos ,4.07 Puntuación
Youngknight00 27 H
4 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Secret to marriage   12/3/2018

There was a couple who were married for 20 years, and every time they had sex the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was stupid. She figured she would break him of the crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of doing it, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a dildo. ...


0 Comentarios, 24 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.47 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
TWO STRINGS   6/3/2018

These two strings walk up to a bar. The first string walks in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells "I don't serve strings in this bar..." <br><br> The other string ruffs himself up on the street and curls up and orders... The bartender shouts, "Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?" <br><br> String says "Yeah." ...


0 Comentarios, 28 Vistas, 8 Votos ,2.32 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
A LITTLE BRITISH HUMOUR   5/3/2018

The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well> dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?' The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular 'Americans> are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.' The ...


1 Comentarios, 35 Vistas, 10 Votos ,4.78 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
The Vicar's Salary.   2/3/2018

The local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave. <br><br> Mike Smith, who owns several car dealerships, stands up and proclaims: 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Mercedes every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!' ...


1 Comentarios, 32 Vistas, 6 Votos ,1.94 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Chicken Sandwich   25/2/2018

Don't eat chicken sandwiches, no matter what..... <br><br> A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken ...


0 Comentarios, 34 Vistas, 11 Votos ,3.54 Puntuación
Youngknight00 27 H
4 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Toys   24/2/2018

What do boobs and toys have in common? <br><br> They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.


0 Comentarios, 7 Vistas, 3 Votos ,3.43 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
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Mice   18/2/2018

Mice How Many Mice Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb? <br><br> Now, wait a minute, before you scroll down for the answer, see if you can figure this out. Come on... Think about it! How many? <br><br> All right, if you think you're really ready to give up... <br><br> but you're going to be very embarrassed.. <br><br> <br><br> ...


1 Comentarios, 25 Vistas, 5 Votos ,3.14 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Frank   17/2/2018

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.' Passenger: 'Who?' Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.' Passenger: ...


0 Comentarios, 26 Vistas, 7 Votos ,3.55 Puntuación
Youngknight00 27 H
4 Artículos
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Truth   16/2/2018

A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. <br><br> Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” <br><br> The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. <br><br> A while later, she comes running back with ...


0 Comentarios, 18 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.86 Puntuación
Youngknight00 27 H
4 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Math class   14/2/2018

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" <br><br> Johnny says, "None." <br><br> The teacher asks, "Why?" <br><br> Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." ...


1 Comentarios, 19 Vistas, 6 Votos ,4.22 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Primark Catalogue   9/2/2018

Two Thanetians were looking at a Primark Catalog and admiring the Models. <br><br> One says to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this Catalog?' <br><br> The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!' The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying ...


0 Comentarios, 25 Vistas, 4 Votos ,1.69 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Crosses   8/2/2018

What do you get if you cross a bullet and a tree with no leaves? A cartridge in a bare tree. <br><br> What would you get if you crossed a bat with a lly hearts club? Lots of blind dates. <br><br> What would you get if you crossed a donkey with an owl? A smart ass which knows it all. <br><br> What would you get if you crossed a mole with a porcupine? A tunnel ...


1 Comentarios, 17 Vistas, 5 Votos ,2.49 Puntuación
Youngknight00 27 H
4 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Apples   6/2/2018

A bus driver and a doctor were in love with the same women <br><br> The bus driver had to leave for week and before he left he gave is love 7 apples


1 Comentarios, 23 Vistas, 5 Votos ,0.53 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
A smart blonde!   1/2/2018

A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move. "You know, " he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk." The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, "What would you like to ...


2 Comentarios, 40 Vistas, 8 Votos ,3.25 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Three Little Pigs   1/2/2018

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order. <br><br> 'I would like a Sprite, ' said the first little piggy. <br><br> <br><br> ! 'I would like a Coke, ' said the second little piggy. <br><br> 'I want beer, lots and lots of beer, ' said the third little piggy. ...


3 Comentarios, 32 Vistas, 6 Votos ,2.23 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Date Site Descriptions   31/1/2018

You might find this amusing. Dating Site Deriptions What they Really MEAN: !!!! <br><br> Female: Adventurous = puts the book down during sex, . Athletic = No breasts, 30 something = 41, Fun =Annoying, Wild = gets pissed easily, Beautiful eyes = face like a robbers dog, Seeks knight in sinning armour = Ex is a fxxxing nutter., New age = hairy and smelly bits, A bit head strong ...


1 Comentarios, 21 Vistas, 4 Votos ,1.69 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Doctors Never Laugh   31/1/2018

Bob went to a doctor and asked him if he ever laughed at a patient. The doctor replied 'Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional. In over twenty I've never laughed at a patient.' 'Okay then, ' Bob said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'whoo-ha' the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA ...


0 Comentarios, 17 Vistas, 3 Votos ,1.47 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Office Showoff   29/1/2018

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the ph and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, ''Can I ...


0 Comentarios, 24 Vistas, 4 Votos ,1.30 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
gissa a job   29/1/2018

This Kid will go far... This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald's restaurant in Florida; and they hired him because he was so hst and funny! NAME: Greg Bulmash. SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, ...


0 Comentarios, 14 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.08 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Maxims   22/1/2018

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. Two wrongs are only the beginning. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. Change is inevitable except from vending machines. Get a new car ...


0 Comentarios, 19 Vistas, 5 Votos ,2.16 Puntuación
pack3rs 55 T
7 Artículos
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North Carolina mountain man was drafted by the Army   22/1/2018

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been ...


0 Comentarios, 29 Vistas, 5 Votos ,3.47 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Spelling.....   21/1/2018

Thought you’d like this: Rearrange the letters to spell out an important part of the human body that is more useful when erect! <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> P N E S I <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> ...


0 Comentarios, 20 Vistas, 3 Votos ,1.47 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
A mental hospital   19/1/2018

After hearing that of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the reuer's file and ed him into his office. <br><br> "Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself ...


0 Comentarios, 15 Vistas, 2 Votos ,1.04 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
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Two Scots   18/1/2018

ots, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub diussing Jock's forthcoming wedding. 'Ach, it's all going grand, ' says Jock. 'I've got everything organised already: the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night... Archie nods approvingly. 'Havens, I've even bought a kilt to be married in!' continues Jock. 'A ...


0 Comentarios, 20 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.86 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
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THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX   17/1/2018

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. <br><br> Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one ...


0 Comentarios, 18 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.08 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
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THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX   17/1/2018

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. <br><br> Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one ...


0 Comentarios, 7 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.08 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
But My Wife Won't Like It   16/1/2018

A Golfer accidentally overturned his cart. <br><br> Elizabeth, a "beautiful" real golfer who lived in a villa on the golf course heard the noise and yelled over to him. <br><br> "Hey, are you okay, what's your name?" "Willis, " he replied. <br><br> "Willis forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest up and I'll you ...


0 Comentarios, 26 Vistas, 6 Votos ,3.08 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Dolphins   16/1/2018

A few ago, there was a really eccentric oil tycoon who had taken it into his head to collect really strange and exotic pets. day, deciding to add to his collection, he walked into the store of an exotic pet shop and said to the salesman, "Show me the most unusual pet you have in stock!" The salesman took him to an outside tank, in which a pod of dolphins were frolicking happily. ...


0 Comentarios, 16 Vistas, 4 Votos ,0.92 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Racing Snail   13/1/2018

My racing snail is not winning races anymore so I decided to take his shell off to reduce his weight and make him more aerodynamic. It didnt work if anything its made him more sluggish


0 Comentarios, 8 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.86 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
The Bacon Tree   13/1/2018

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden....... <br><br> 'Hey Jose, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon I is sure of eet.' <br><br> 'Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee.' <br><br> So, with renewed strength, they ...


0 Comentarios, 18 Vistas, 6 Votos ,2.51 Puntuación
pack3rs 55 T
7 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Old man's health check up   12/1/2018

An old man went to the doctor suffering from Piles. The doctor gave him pesaries and told him to put in his rectum every night and come back after week. <br><br> When he got home he said to his wife "Have we got a rectum?". She replied "What's a rectum?". <br><br> The old man said "I've no idea but I have to put of these in it every ...


0 Comentarios, 25 Vistas, 6 Votos ,3.65 Puntuación
AlphaLthr 74 M
36 Artículos
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Italian Honeymoon...   9/1/2018

The Italian Honeymoon... <br><br> After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his barbershop in Jersey to say hello to his old friends... Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wasa da treep?" Luigi said, "Everyting perfecto, except for da traina ride..." "Whata you mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni. "Well, we ...


2 Comentarios, 32 Vistas, 8 Votos ,3.71 Puntuación
AlphaLthr 74 M
36 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Little Sally   9/1/2018

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!"... Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut... " Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, "Really small, was it?" Sally replied, "No, salty." Mom ...


3 Comentarios, 25 Vistas, 6 Votos ,5.07 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Leaving Early   9/1/2018

women all worked in the same office, with the same female boss. Each day they noticed that the boss would leave work early. day, the women decided, that when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never ed, or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early. <br><br> The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, ed ...


0 Comentarios, 22 Vistas, 4 Votos ,1.69 Puntuación
pack3rs 55 T
7 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
A patient rings his doctor...   9/1/2018

A patient rings his doctor... <br><br> Patient: "Doctor, I applied that Hemorrhoid cream you gave me and got a terrible reaction!" <br><br> Doctor: "Okay, where exactly did you apply it?" <br><br> Patient: "On the bus."


0 Comentarios, 16 Vistas, 6 Votos ,3.37 Puntuación
AlphaLthr 74 M
36 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Disappointed...   6/1/2018

A teacher asked her 6th grade class: “Who can tell me, which human organ becomes 10 times bigger when it’s stimulated?” <br><br> Maria stood up, bright red and angry, and said “How can you ask such a question? I’m telling my parents and they’re going to get you fired!” <br><br> The teacher was shocked by the outburst, but decided to ignore it. She asked the ...


4 Comentarios, 38 Vistas, 7 Votos ,4.31 Puntuación
AlphaLthr 74 M
36 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
No more a Virgin   6/1/2018

No more a Virgin <br><br> The family is at the dining table. The little 10-year-old girl does not eat and has her nose in her plate…. <br><br> After a few moments, she says, “I’ve something to tell you people” <br><br> Silence around the table. “I’m no longer virgin”, and she begins to cry. A long silence again. <br><br> And then… ...


2 Comentarios, 36 Vistas, 4 Votos ,3.25 Puntuación
AlphaLthr 74 M
36 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Crabs...   6/1/2018

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him. <br><br> She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator. <br><br> He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in an arrogant manner that he was a lawyer and ...


4 Comentarios, 36 Vistas, 6 Votos ,3.93 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
NI Women   27/12/2017

Three men sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties to perform. Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had told his new wife to do all the dishes and house cleaning in the house. He said it took a couple of days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and all the dishes were cleaned and put away. James had married a woman from ...


0 Comentarios, 21 Vistas, 5 Votos ,2.82 Puntuación
AlphaLthr 74 M
36 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Handyman Husband???...   26/12/2017

On a cold winter morning, wife texts husband: "WINDOWS FROZEN, WON'T OPEN" Husband texts back: "POUR SOME LUKEWARM WATER OVER IT AND TAP GENTLY ALONG THE EDGES WITH A HAMMER" Five minutes later wife texts husband: "COMPUTER REALLY SCREWED UP NOW"


0 Comentarios, 22 Vistas, 2 Votos ,1.73 Puntuación
AlphaLthr 74 M
36 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Crumbled Money///   26/12/2017

While enjoying their evening cocktails, the wife asks her husband, in a very seductive voice, "Have you ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?" "No, " said her husband. <br><br> She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra, and pulled out a ...


1 Comentarios, 32 Vistas, 4 Votos ,4.80 Puntuación
AlphaLthr 74 M
36 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
THE SPOON AND THE STRING   25/12/2017

A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization. <br><br> Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. <br><br> When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he Also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I ...


1 Comentarios, 17 Vistas, 1 Votos ,3.70 Puntuación
AlphaLthr 74 M
36 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
This Is HELL to Write About:   22/12/2017

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil... Satan: "Why so glum?" Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!" Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?" Guy: "Sure, I love to drink." Satan: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays ...


0 Comentarios, 24 Vistas, 3 Votos ,4.41 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Frozen Turkey   18/12/2017

Sarah new young bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, 'Richard doesn't appreciate what I do for him.' 'Now, now, ' her mother comforted, 'I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.' 'No, mother, you don't understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price.' 'Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate, ' ...


0 Comentarios, 20 Vistas, 1 Votos ,3.70 Puntuación
pack3rs 55 T
7 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Lion cage cleaner   17/12/2017

My first job was at our local Zoo, sweeping the shit out of the lion, s cage........ most of it was mine. They fired me the next week for leaving the cage door open, I said "oh come on, who, s gonna steal a Lion?"


0 Comentarios, 9 Vistas, 2 Votos ,3.12 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
I want to see something really cheap   15/12/2017

After being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. <br><br> <br><br> "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50. <br><br> "That's a bit much, " said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30. ...


1 Comentarios, 21 Vistas, 2 Votos ,3.81 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Ethel   14/12/2017

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in. day Ethel was speeding up corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his ...


1 Comentarios, 21 Vistas, 2 Votos ,2.42 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
The Wedding Night.   13/12/2017

eggs decide to get married. Along comes the big day and everything goes to plan. But they are both very nervous about the hymoon night so the female egg decides to dress up in a skimpy little negligee to them get excited. The husband comes along and sees his wife dressed like this and all off a sudden runs into the bathroom and locks the door. The wife is very shocked by his behavior but ...


0 Comentarios, 15 Vistas, 2 Votos ,1.73 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Catholic Dog   13/12/2017

Muldoon lived al in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. day the dog died, and Muldoon we nt to the parish priest and asked, "Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?" Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have s for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and ...


0 Comentarios, 13 Vistas, 1 Votos ,5.00 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Onions And Christmas Trees   7/12/2017

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? <br><br> The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are kinds of Boobs: <br><br> In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm. <br><br> In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. ...


0 Comentarios, 28 Vistas, 5 Votos ,5.10 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
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LIFE THOUGHTS BY 'DUCKY'   6/12/2017

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it. So I said 'Implants?' She hit me. <br><br> Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative. <br><br> Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. <br><br> How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty ...


0 Comentarios, 17 Vistas, 3 Votos ,5.39 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Looks of Disappointment   5/12/2017

A Irishman was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're truly beautiful." Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're really cute." The wife was ...


1 Comentarios, 24 Vistas, 3 Votos ,4.90 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
ONLY IN SCOTLAND   4/12/2017

A Scottish soldier in full dress marches into a pharmacy to speak to the chemist. The Scot opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, opens it to reveal a smaller silk square which he unfolds to reveal a condom. The condom has a number of patches on it. He holds it up. 'How much to repair it?' the Scot asks the pharmacist.'Six pence, ' says the chemist. ...


1 Comentarios, 21 Vistas, 3 Votos ,3.43 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Trained   29/11/2017

An old man who'd lived all his life back up in the hills came to visit a childhood friend. Now he'd never laid eyes on a train or the iron rails on which they run. Standing in the middle of the tracks one day, he heard a distant whistle... WOOOO--ooo---OOOOO! but didn't have a clue as to what it meant or his impending danger. Predictably, the old boy is hit -- fortunately ...


1 Comentarios, 22 Vistas, 4 Votos ,4.41 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
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Mick & Paddy   26/11/2017

Mick met Paddy in the street and said, 'Paddy, will you draw your bedroom curtains before making love to your wife in future?' 'Bejaysus Why?' Paddy asked. 'Because, ' said Mick, 'the whole street was laughing when they saw you making love yesterday.' Paddy said, 'Stupid bastards, the laugh's on them ... I wasn't home yesterday.'


1 Comentarios, 21 Vistas, 5 Votos ,4.12 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
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Paddy   24/11/2017

Paddy walks into his GP's surgery and punches doctor! He then shouts "You bastrd telling my wife she has a nice fanny!" The doctor says "I told her she's got acute angina..!"


1 Comentarios, 17 Vistas, 6 Votos ,4.22 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Deodoranjt   20/11/2017

I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom. I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.


1 Comentarios, 13 Vistas, 5 Votos ,4.45 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Near Death Experience   20/11/2017

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She ...


0 Comentarios, 23 Vistas, 5 Votos ,3.80 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
The Blonde and the Casino   20/11/2017

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand rand (R20, 000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm Completely nude." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" ...


0 Comentarios, 23 Vistas, 4 Votos ,4.41 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
HOLY SOAP   14/11/2017

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. <br><br> They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap. <br><br> Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, while he is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way.. Having no place to ...


0 Comentarios, 21 Vistas, 5 Votos ,5.43 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
Elderly Couple   13/11/2017

An elderly couple who were both widowed had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the ...


1 Comentarios, 26 Vistas, 8 Votos ,4.41 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
Puntuación 0.0
This old wino   10/11/2017

This old wino staggers into a bar and the barman immediately told him to get out. The tramp said that he would only leave if the barman gave him a cocktail stick. The barman, thinking this was a fair exchange, gladly gave the man a cocktail stick and watched him stagger back outside. <br><br> A minute later another old wino walked into the bar and got asked to leave by the barman. ...


1 Comentarios, 24 Vistas, 4 Votos ,4.80 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
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Frozen Wimdows   6/11/2017

Wife texts husband on a cold winters morning: "Windows frozen." Husband texts back: "pour some luke warm water over it." <br><br> Wife texts back: <br><br> <br><br> "computer completely fucked now."


1 Comentarios, 23 Vistas, 9 Votos ,5.35 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
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Trouble sleeping   27/10/2017

The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. <br><br> "Well, I, uh, " she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac." <br><br> "I see, " he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour." <br><br> "That's not ...


1 Comentarios, 38 Vistas, 10 Votos ,3.58 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
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Jewish Divorce   26/10/2017

A jewish girl calls her mother : 'Mum, I'm getting a divorce'. 'A divorce? Why?' replied the shocked mother. 'Mum, all he wants his anal sex. I used to have a lovely little arsehole, the size of a 5p piece. Now its the size of a 50p piece'. The mother replies 'Sweetie, you have a lovely home, a Porsche, a platinum credit card and have 4 foreign holidays a year.... ...


0 Comentarios, 21 Vistas, 2 Votos ,3.81 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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50 Years!   18/10/2017

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years a go? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you." Yes. she says. "I remember it well." OK, " he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?" ...


0 Comentarios, 24 Vistas, 8 Votos ,4.64 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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Vely Good   15/10/2017

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. <br><br> She yells, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?" <br><br> One of the Japanese men explains, "Can't you see? We are all berry hungry." <br><br> The waitress ...


1 Comentarios, 31 Vistas, 9 Votos ,2.57 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
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How My Husband Broke His Arms....   14/10/2017

Last year, when the power mower was broken and wouldn't run, I kept hinting to my husband that he ought to get it fixed, but somehow the message never sank in. Finally I thought of a clever way to make the point. <br><br> When my husband arrived home that day, he found me seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. <br><br> He ...


0 Comentarios, 21 Vistas, 5 Votos ,1.84 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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The British Way   12/10/2017

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis only to find a British soldier selling regimental ties. The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?" The soldier replied, "There is no water, the well is dry. Would you like to buy a tie instead? They are only ...


0 Comentarios, 18 Vistas, 3 Votos ,3.92 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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The Atheist and the Bear   11/10/2017

An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself. <br><br> As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. <br><br> He ran as fast as he could up the path. He ...


0 Comentarios, 22 Vistas, 5 Votos ,4.12 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
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Fairy Tale   10/10/2017

One day, long, long ago, there was this woman who surprisingly, did not whine, nag or bitch......... But it was a long time ago..... …and it was just the ONE day. The End


0 Comentarios, 10 Vistas, 0 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
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Guy's Logic   10/10/2017

Lady: Do you drink? Man: Yes. <br><br> Lady: How much a day? Man: Three 6 packs. <br><br> Lady: How much per 6 pack? Man: About $10.00. <br><br> Lady: And how long have you been drinking? Man: 15 years. <br><br> Lady: So one 6 pack costs $10.00, and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. In one year, it would be $10, 800 ...


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Zeus2512 71 H
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Fake two dollar bill   9/10/2017

On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday cash I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting upset with me. <br><br> ME: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer ...


0 Comentarios, 18 Vistas, 1 Votos ,2.40 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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Harrods   8/10/2017

Harrods <br><br> *A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience?' The young man answered 'Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Dubbo.' The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job. His first day was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the ...


0 Comentarios, 13 Vistas, 2 Votos ,1.73 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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Random Jokes   8/10/2017

Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK! <br><br> <br><br> The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part. <br><br> I've accidentally ...


1 Comentarios, 15 Vistas, 2 Votos ,1.04 Puntuación
pack3rs 55 T
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Sent Packing   7/10/2017

My wife accused me of being a transvestite. So I packed her things and left.


0 Comentarios, 17 Vistas, 4 Votos ,4.41 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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LAWS OF INEVITABILITY   5/10/2017

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. LAW OF THE WORKSHOP Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. LAW OF PROBABILITY The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. LAW OF THE TELEPHONE If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. LAW ...


0 Comentarios, 11 Vistas, 1 Votos ,2.40 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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The Wedding Night   3/10/2017

Maria had just gotten married, and being a traditional Ital ian she was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was a very nervous. Her mother reassured her, "Don't worry, Maria, John’s a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you. Meanwhile, I'll be making pasta." So, uppa she went. When she got upstairs, John took off ...


0 Comentarios, 18 Vistas, 3 Votos ,2.94 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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TAKING A WOMAN TO BED   29/9/2017

What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58. 68, and 78 ? <br><br> . At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed. <br><br> At 28 -- You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed. <br><br> At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed. <br><br> ...


0 Comentarios, 15 Vistas, 4 Votos ,1.69 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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A Few Thoughts For You   29/9/2017

• Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. Norm Papernick • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? • Why is the man who invests all your money called a 'Broker'? • Why isn't there a mouse flavoured cat food? • Why do they call the airport ...


1 Comentarios, 14 Vistas, 4 Votos ,3.63 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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The Lonely Widow   29/9/2017

Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place. Not wanting to miss ...


0 Comentarios, 18 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.86 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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Another Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman Joke   29/9/2017

There's an Englishman, Irishman & a Scotsman all talking about their teenage daughters. The Englishman says "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day & I found a packet of cigarettes. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she smokes". The Scotsman says "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a ...


0 Comentarios, 15 Vistas, 2 Votos ,1.04 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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Bruce And Sheila   29/9/2017

Bruce is driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge one day when he sees his girlfriend, Sheila about to throw herself off. Bruce slams on the brakes and yells "Sheila, what the hell d'ya think you're doing?" Sheila turns around with a tear in her eye and says, "G'day Bruce. Ya got me pregnant and so now I'm gonna kill myself." Bruce gets a lump in his throat ...


0 Comentarios, 17 Vistas, 3 Votos ,1.96 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN   29/9/2017

A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep . It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate, not fascinating". Sally raised her hand. She said, ...


0 Comentarios, 15 Vistas, 2 Votos ,1.73 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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20 Rules for Successful Writing   26/9/2017

For those of you who write blogs and articles for the site, here a a few simple rules for you. <br><br> 1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with 3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction 4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive 5. Avoid cliches like the plague 6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration 7. Be more or ...


0 Comentarios, 9 Vistas, 2 Votos ,2.42 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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Strange Diseases   25/9/2017

A young couple left their wedding reception, arriving at the hotel for the first night of their honeymoon. They cracked the champagne and began undressing. When the groom removed his socks, his new wife said, "Your toes Look all mangled and funny." "I had tolio as a child, " the husband replied. "You mean polio?" she asked. "No, the disease only affected ...


0 Comentarios, 11 Vistas, 1 Votos ,2.40 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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Gas Prices in Paris - Tres Bien!   21/9/2017

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. <br><br> After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. Only two blocks away, however, he was captured when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I ...


0 Comentarios, 18 Vistas, 2 Votos ,2.42 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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Divorce Letter   20/9/2017

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, ...


1 Comentarios, 29 Vistas, 1 Votos ,3.70 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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Little Johnny's Breakfast   20/9/2017

A grade three teacher is giving a lesson on nutrition, and she decides to ask her students what they had for breakfast. To add a spelling component, she asks the students to also spell their answers. Susan puts up her hand and says she had an egg, 'E-G-G'. 'Very good', says the teacher. Peter says he had toast 'T-O-A-S-T'. 'Excellent.' Johnny has his hand up and ...


0 Comentarios, 13 Vistas, 1 Votos ,5.00 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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Jack Schitt   19/9/2017

The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says; "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of the Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. <br><br> In turn, Jack Schitt ...


0 Comentarios, 10 Vistas, 1 Votos ,3.70 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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Weight Loss   18/9/2017

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. <br><br> The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, 'If you can catch ...


0 Comentarios, 6 Vistas, 1 Votos ,5.00 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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YOU Can Be The Man Of Your House   14/9/2017

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, YOU need to know that I AM the MAN of this house, and my word is law! You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me, and ...


0 Comentarios, 12 Vistas, 1 Votos ,3.70 Puntuación
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Accident At The Toll Booth   13/9/2017

The driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, and ploughed into an empty toll booth, smashing it to pieces. Some time after the driver had reported the damage, he watched as a repair truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers. They picked up each broken piece of the wreckage and spread a creamy substance on it. Then they began fitting the pieces together. In less than a half hour, ...


0 Comentarios, 13 Vistas, 1 Votos ,3.70 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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Main Vice President   10/9/2017

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. <br><br> Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!". <br><br> "Really?" he said. Not sure if this was ...


1 Comentarios, 22 Vistas, 1 Votos ,2.40 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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Painting the Church   8/9/2017

There was a Scottish painter named Smokey Macgregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. <br><br> As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Local Church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings. <br><br> Smokey ...


0 Comentarios, 14 Vistas, 1 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
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Tales From The Shire   7/9/2017

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They taker her to ta local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the hobbit on the outside hears starnge noises through the door, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I CAN'T DO IT!" In the morning, the second hobbit askes the first, "How did it ...


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Zeus2512 71 H
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EATING IN THE FIFTIES   7/9/2017

* Pasta had not been invented. * Curry was an unknown entity. * Olive oil was kept in the medicine cabinet * Spices came from the Middle East where we believed that they were used for embalming * Herbs were used to make rather dodgy medicine. * A Takeaway was a mathematical problem. * A Pizza was something to do with a leaning tower. * Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time. * The ...


1 Comentarios, 19 Vistas, 2 Votos ,0.34 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
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New Windows   6/9/2017

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane energy-efficient kind. Yesterday, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the windows had been installed a whole year ago and I had not paid for them yet. Hellloooo? Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So I told him just exactly ...


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The Elderly Golfer   6/9/2017

An elderly golfer comes in after a good round of golf at the new course and heads straight to the bar/restaurant area of the club house. <br><br> As he passes through the swinging doors, he spots a sign hanging over the bar that reads: <br><br> COLD BEER:£3.50 HAMBURGER: £4.50 CHEESEBURGER: £5.00 CHICKEN SANDWICH : £5.50 HAND JOB: £200.00 <br><br> Checking ...


0 Comentarios, 13 Vistas, 1 Votos ,3.70 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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The Salesman   3/9/2017

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. <br><br> "Good morning, " said the young man. "If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners." <br><br> "Go away!" said the old lady. ...


0 Comentarios, 13 Vistas, 2 Votos ,1.04 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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HOW LONG HAVE I GOT LEFT?   1/9/2017

A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked "Give it to me straight. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted that his patient would survive the night. The man then said "Call for my lawyer." <br><br> When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the ...


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Zeus2512 71 H
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THIS IS WHY PARENTS DRINK!!   30/8/2017

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' <br><br> With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter. <br><br> Dear Dad: It is with great regret and ...


0 Comentarios, 9 Vistas, 1 Votos ,5.00 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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Tomatoes   27/8/2017

See if this works for yours (tomatoes that is) . . . <br><br> <br><br> A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbour who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so ...


0 Comentarios, 8 Vistas, 1 Votos ,3.70 Puntuación
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Survey   26/8/2017

In a recent blowjob survey 7% of the men said they like the feeling. 10% said they like the power and control. The rest just enjoyed the peace and quiet.


1 Comentarios, 6 Vistas, 1 Votos ,5.00 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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Funny Thoughts for the Day   24/8/2017

• Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. Norm Papernick • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? • Why is the man who invests all your money called a 'Broker'? • Why isn't there a mouse flavoured cat food? • Why do they call the airport ...


0 Comentarios, 8 Vistas, 1 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artículos
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The Irish v. The French!   23/8/2017

The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings. <br><br> 'Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you! We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty!' 'Well Paddy, Sarkozy replied. How big is your army?' ...


0 Comentarios, 16 Vistas, 2 Votos ,1.73 Puntuación
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A guy's guide to spotting Ms Wrong by the end of the first date   22/8/2017

When you're in the thick of a first date, judgement may not be on your side. Often you'll find yourself asking or agreeing to see her again, then waking up the next morning to a clear-as-day realisation that you don't want a second date at all. <br><br> Rather than try to squeeze out of it once it's too late, you should sharpen those powers of first-date perception. ...


0 Comentarios, 15 Vistas, 1 Votos
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EVEN MORE BLONDE QUESTIONS ANSWERED   18/8/2017

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain ? A: Gifted! Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders? A: Because they ...


1 Comentarios, 13 Vistas, 2 Votos ,1.73 Puntuación
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Pumpkin   17/8/2017

This was apparently in the Washington Post .... The title of the article was Best Come Back Line Ever.' In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County Courthouse on Monday. The ...


0 Comentarios, 7 Vistas, 2 Votos ,5.20 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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SKIRT ZIPPER   15/8/2017

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to ...


0 Comentarios, 7 Vistas, 2 Votos ,3.81 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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DATING RITUALS of women   10/8/2017

CANADIAN WOMEN

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMEN

First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. 20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN ...


0 Comentarios, 10 Vistas, 2 Votos ,3.81 Puntuación
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Irish Radio Phone In Quiz   9/8/2017

Some belters from Larry Gogans radio show phone in quiz called the "just a minute quiz"

(Larry) Q. Something a blind man might use? (Contestant) A. A sword



(L.) Q. A song with the word moon in the title? C.) A. Blue suede moon



L.) Q. Name the capital of France? C.) A. "F"



L.) Q. Name a bird with a long neck? C.) A. Naomi Campbell ...


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Letter From The Boss   8/8/2017

Memorandum

TO: All employees FROM: The boss DATE:August 8th, 2017 RE: Foul Language



It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from some employees who are easily offended, this type of language will be ...


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pack3rs 55 T
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Earrings   6/8/2017

Earrings





Have you ever wondered why some men wear earrings?

A man was at work one day when he noticed his co-worker was wearing an earring. Knowing his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, he was curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." The man walks up to his co-worker and said, "I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't make such a ...


0 Comentarios, 19 Vistas, 6 Votos ,3.93 Puntuación
Zeus2512 71 H
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Poor Elton   2/8/2017

Elton John goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says "Elton, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have HIV."

Elton is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?"

Doc says "Eat one sausage, one head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, ten Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of All Bran cereal and top it ...


0 Comentarios, 15 Vistas, 1 Votos ,3.70 Puntuación