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Heteroflexible K

The almost completely, quite possibly totally true tales of a heteroflexible male.

keep spreading that disease
張貼於:2024年 3月 28日 11:53 am
最近編輯過:2024年 3月 28日 11:53 am
0 瀏覽
While perusing the gay hookup site I belong to I came across an ad from a guy who boldly stated he had tested positive for an STI but was still trying to have sex with anyone willing. Now, I have to give him credit for being honest, because that is worth praising, and I’ll admit he mentioned the potential use of condoms as well. This wasn’t a totally irresponsible asshole, just partially.

The infection he had is called MGEN and it is basically Chlamydia. Yes, it is curable, but it is also one of those diseases that people can have, and not really know it for a long time. Symptoms take a while to manifest, and when they do it’s not immediately obvious the person has an STI. With that being said, it seems irresponsible to risk transmission at all. Condoms or not, can’t the guy just keep his dick in his pants for a while?

Another fellow bragged that he’d allowed over 40 / forty men to ejaculate into his anus. I don’t care how many HIV-fighting drugs you are taking, there are a host of other sexually transmitted diseases that being on PREP does not inoculate you from. Has he never heard of Herpes? It’s more likely he already has it, and is in between breakouts. To each their own, especially when it comes to their own bodies, but when the things they do could greatly effect a larger population that’s just irresponsible and dangerous.

My decision to kind of take a break from sexual encounters with men is probably coming at a good time. The weather will get warmer, guys will become even more careless, and before you know it there’ll be another thing like Monkeypox being referred to as a “gay” disease because some men have so little regard for themselves, and even less for others when it comes to the prevention of the spread of them. Honestly, I want no part of that.
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shifting desires
張貼於:2024年 3月 27日 10:56 am
最近編輯過:2024年 3月 28日 11:53 am
41 瀏覽
Throughout my entire life I’ve considered myself heteroflexible. Before that was ever a word, or a way to describe ones sexuality, I would have said I was bisexual, but didn’t like kissing, cuddling or getting romantic with men. In the end, I was just sexual - perhaps less discerning than most, but still undeniably attracted to women. That being said, my sex drive was impressive, and my comfort level exploring with men led to decades of gay sex. During those times I’d go through phases like only enjoying oral, only being a Dom/Top, only having anonymous encounters and so on. There have been lengthy periods where I absolutely would not have anal sex with a guy, because it repulsed me. Months later I’d somehow get over it, or magically find myself thinking and feeling differently, with oral sex suddenly being the thing to avoid. Call if a desire for variety if you must, but ultimately it was about mood, in addition to a host of other random factors. I wasn’t overthinking, just going with what got my cock hard.

My appetite for men has never been noteworthy. They’ve been easy, and readily available, which is all I really wanted from them in the first place. The longer I’ve gone without attention from females, the more my energy and desires have turned towards men, but only with the end goal being physical release and satisfaction. I’ve never looked for a relationship, or anything more than the briefest of social interactions. I don’t want to fuck and cuddle, just fuck and head out the door. And this has all worked quite nicely, because again; men are easy and readily available. With gay hookup sites and glory hole booths I am never left unsatisfied, unless by choice. In fact, sometimes it’s so easy to get a blow job, or whatever I want from men, that the fun has kind of vanished from the process. It’s not a challenge if all I have to do is drive a mile, enter a room, slip my cock through a hole in the wall and get it expertly throated. That’s not to say it still isn’t fun, but just not as much as it would be if it was a bit tougher to accomplish.

Which leads me to today. I feel my desires shifting, and to my surprise it is almost entirely away from men. As easy as it would be to get off, I think I might abstain for a while and try to save that energy, just in case I might be able to expend it on a female. Why I feel I might suddenly have the opportunity to do so is unexplainable, except to say that it is simply a feeling I have. If I begin working a job soon, there’s a good chance I’ll encounter a woman that is either customer or coworker, who makes me want to pursue dating her. If that is true I want to be sharp, not drained, and hungry. Does that mean I am swearing off men, or anything even close to that? No, it certainly does not, but it means my time and energy spent searching is going to be greatly increased. And if I get to the end of a week and no magic has happened between myself and a female OR male, I always know I have wonderful cock sucking friends who’ll happily take care of me. I won’t be left wanting, unless I am the reason for it.
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the futility of it all
張貼於:2024年 3月 26日 6:51 pm
最近編輯過:2024年 3月 28日 11:53 am
56 瀏覽
If you were a gay man who was online looking for a sexual encounter, wouldn’t it make sense to actually put the effort in towards getting what you want, instead of being lazy about it? I mean, even if you’re just hoping to suck a cock, or get yours sucked on, wouldn’t it be smart to do what is required in order to make it happen? The alternative is to search for longer periods of time, and face a lot more rejection from many more individuals, because you are being lazy about the whole thing. Is that really what people want? Their actions sure seem to indicate so.

When a guy sees a photo of a body part he finds attractive, don’t you think reading the profile and stats attached to it is a good idea? If a submissive/bottom is looking for a Dom/Top does he assume that every single picture of a large penis is attached to the kind of person he’s looking for? Because that is exactly how most men act; they see a picture of my dick and without taking so much as a single minute to find out anything about me, just start sending messages. Often they attach photos of body parts that, frankly, I do not want to see but they wouldn’t know that because they just start clicking away, sending things that are completely unwanted. They willfully waste their own time (and mine) with the futility of their actions, and I can’t understand why.

Whether I am looking for something sexual or romantic, from men or from women, I don’t do so mindlessly. I certainly don’t waste my time sending unsolicited photos to people unless I have at least ascertained whether or not the target audience will potentially appreciate them. If I want my cock sucked, I look for men who clearly state they are cock suckers, and then I make the required effort to meet them in person. What I don’t do, is ask too many questions, request more pictures than necessary, or any of that. If a guy specifies he is not into the same activities as I am in his profile, I don’t waste my time hoping I’ll be the exception to his rule. Sometimes I think I’m too quick to try and hook up in person, but I don’t care - those who aren’t ready can contact me another day -or not. I take steps towards my goals, not ones that will make them difficult to attain, and don’t act contrary to what will get me what I want.

I don’t know if it’s that gay men are lazy, ignorant, lacking in intelligence or perhaps just rude and uncaring, but it happens over and over again. Enough that I thought I’d write a post about it…
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I am an addict (?)
張貼於:2024年 3月 25日 11:05 am
最近編輯過:2024年 3月 28日 11:53 am
101 瀏覽

I am no expert on addiction, so please don’t take this seriously. If anything, look at it as a mix of satire and supposition. Ultimately I’m just talking out of my ass.

I’ve never been addicted to any hard drugs, or other supremely unhealthy substances. I did a fair amount of drinking when I was young, and there was a small stint of meth use with my wife in the late 90’s, but those were moments of dabbling more than anything else. I do have an addictive personality of sorts, but it happens to revolve around different things, like the collection of books and movies. That’s not really addiction so much as compulsion maybe?

Beyond that type of thing, I am addicted to sugar. If I had to cut it out of my diet it would be tough, and I find myself craving it more than I should, even when I have just consumed it. My intake is well under control, but if I could, I’d overindulge every day.

Marijuana is also extremely important in my life, and quitting it is definitely not an easy thing to do. My body actually goes through withdrawals, and my mood gets much darker, but I can stop smoking if I need to. Once I do, the cravings for a puff never stop though.

Sex is my only true addiction - or at least that’s how I see it. To me, sex is as necessary as food and oxygen, and I spend a good portion of every day finding some way to enjoy a version of it, even if I am only doing so by myself. With gay hookup sites like Sniffies, and glory hole booths right down the street, masturbation is NEVER necessary but I still indulge. What can I say; I make myself feel pretty darn good and it’s completely drama and effort free.

To my mind, sex addiction is really just dopamine addiction. I seek sex frequently, in many forms, because when I am not participating in it my dopamine levels are crashing and I’m going through withdrawals. All I want is another rush of euphoria that comes with connecting, touching, penetrating, ejaculating. The problem is that the moment I cum, that rush is gone, replaced with a feeling of emptiness sinking in. There’s no cuddling or any other intimacy afterwards; I cum and go, which leaves me to celebrate all alone. Isn’t that a sad story?

The reason I would say that I was addicted is because I spend far too much time trying to hook up, and make some rather iffy decisions sometimes when I do. And while I’m being honest, I admit that “getting lucky” not only gives me a dopamine spike it also just raises my spirits in general. It makes me feel attractive, desirable, worthy, lucky. That’s not to say that I am insecure, because I like who I am, and think I am attractive. I guess it’s like having a few dollars, and knowing you’re financially secure, but still feeling pretty darn good when someone gives you a few more. I don’t place my self worth on the opinion of others but readily admit it can effect me, so I try to make it a positive experience. Does that mean I think I’m addicted to feeling good about myself? I suppose it does.
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more than meat
張貼於:2024年 3月 24日 12:58 pm
最近編輯過:2024年 3月 25日 11:06 am
173 瀏覽
I recently changed my profile on the hookup site I belong to, so instead of looking for men to jerk off next to me in my van I’m now hoping to find a guy who’ll take me out for a drink and take things slower. I’ve kind of presented myself as someone who is exploring, which isn’t exactly true, but isn’t totally false either. Usually my interactions with men are quick, and to the point, whereas I am trying for the first time to make it a more social affair. I don’t just want to walk into some guys house, take off my clothes, get satisfaction and leave. This time around I’d like to sit at a bar, share a cocktail, and be more flirtatious. It’s actually a big step in a different direction for me.

Unfortunately, nobody is taking me up on it. As is usually the case, guys see a picture of me and just blindly, mindlessly send a message offering me things I do not want. It’s partially my fault, because I have up a beautiful shot of my engorged prick resting against my thigh, but that doesn’t excuse the laziness. I’m asking for someone to take me out for a drink and take it slow and I’m getting pictures of gaping assholes with invitations to destroy them. Even a cursory glance at my stats and other desires would show I am not openly interested in, or looking for, anal action but that doesn’t seem to stop most.

It’s true I have a nice cock, but I am more than that. My abs look good as well, but I am more than any particular body part - or all of them put together for that matter. Believe it or not, I am a thinking, feeling person with likes and dislikes, preferences and limits. I don’t mind being objectified and viewed as a sex object or toy, but that’s not the reality. My cock only gets hard when I am actually aroused, and when I say I’m not interested in something there’s not much anyone can do about it but accept and move on. If a guy would read my profile, take me out for a drink, and let things happen more naturally chances are he’d get exactly what he wanted, just more organically. Wham, bam, thank you is fine but I want to be made to feel just a bit more special - a bit more like a person and less an object. So far, that seems too much to ask, but then again I’m on a hookup site seeking that, not one geared towards dating. Then again, I don’t want to date, I just want something in between that and quickie. It’s bound to appeal to someone sooner or later…
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jerking w/me in my van
張貼於:2024年 3月 23日 11:06 am
最近編輯過:2024年 3月 28日 11:53 am
193 瀏覽
When I was certain I would wind up homeless, living in a van, I admit I hatched a plan to begin making adult content again almost immediately. While I might be failing miserably at the job search I at least know I can earn a few dollars on my porn. The solo stuff I’ve been making for the past few years doesn’t sell well but it will help pay the few bills I still have to deal with.



The plan I had was simple; invite men to sit next to me in the front seat of my van and jerk off. I didn’t want to get my dick sucked or anything like that, I just wanted to watch (and film) random guys masturbating next to me. Perhaps I’d lend a hand, but that was it. Altering my profile on the hookup site I belong to, I found a lot of men were very interested in doing this. The problem became finding ones who would actually follow through, and then conquering the mood swings I was experiencing. It seemed like there was nobody interested when I was raring to go, and when guys were flooding my inbox the last thing I wanted was some strange guy in my van. Bad timing and bad moods have made it so that only 3 / three men have fully taken the plunge.



The first was a shy gentleman who would not pull his cock out, and nervously played with mine for a while before bailing. The next 2 / two were much more eager and adventurous. Both times I lent a hand, and of course I had my cock out the entire time. Watching these guys jerk off in the seat next to me while parked behind a department store was undeniably exciting. I had zero desire to experience anything more; didn’t want my cock sucked or even help stroking. It was safe, exciting fun that I hope I’ll get to experience again.



My profile on the hookup site has since changed though, which means I’m not advertising the fact that I want to jerk off with strange men in my van. As I tend to go through phases, I am confident I’ll be trying again soon.
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here comes the rain again
張貼於:2024年 3月 22日 11:15 am
最近編輯過:2024年 3月 28日 11:53 am
244 瀏覽
Misophonia is an irrational response to specific sounds - a condition that for many is chronic and debilitating, and that I suffer from. When I hear the sound of a person chewing, the clicking of a pen, dripping of a faucet, chirping of a bird, hammering, bass from passing vehicles, and overly loud exhaust from passing vehicles it puts me in fight or flight. I want to “run and hide” from the noise or I want to attack it so it will cease. It’s an extremely difficult mental condition that gets worse every year.

While I was off grid last year I spent the entire time in a tent. When it rained - and it did so frequently - the sound of drops on the plastic roof went from calming to maddening. There were times when I literally felt I would lose my mind from the tap tap tap tap tap that seemed loud and endless. Fast forward to my current situation, living in a van, and you can maybe imagine the kind of noise 2 / two straight weeks of heavy rain did to the roof of it. It caused me immense stress unless I was sleeping, or could escape the vehicle and go into a building. That meant my time in the library was extended a bit, and I went grocery shopping more than I needed to, but then I had to return to the tap tap tap tap tap tapping. Playing music in my earbuds helped, as did watching movies. Any chance to escape helped immensely, but there was always the return to hell, looming.

The reason I write about this is because the rain is coming again. The forecast for the next few days is rain, rain and more rain. Knowing I have now added the sound of rain to my long list of audible tortures is depressing, especially since I feel like I’m going to be in this van for the rest of my life. Either I need to find my way out of it, and into a more traditional living situation, or I need to somehow learn to deal with the sound of drops of water ceaselessly tapping on the roof of my home. Isn’t that fucked up? How sad is a life when you have such a negative reaction to something so natural, and ultimately beautiful? Misophonia is terrible!
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deep in the rut
張貼於:2024年 3月 21日 11:08 am
最近編輯過:2024年 3月 28日 11:53 am
274 瀏覽
While it is true I have a decent routine going, it seems fair to say it’s getting me nowhere. I’m not wasting my days and nights by simply existing and surviving - by literally doing nothing - but the things I make certain to accomplish every single day are just another version or level of survival. I exist to do what I did today, tomorrow, but there’s no sign it’s going to get any better, that my life is going to get any fuller or more rewarding. Whatever’s happening seems to point towards things getting worse before they get better.

Maybe I’ve said this before, but I know that doing the same thing while expecting different results is the definition of insanity. My problem is that no matter how creative I get, no matter how far out of the box I think or act, the options available to me simply aren’t acceptable. It’s not that I’m above certain kinds of work, and in fact desperation may find me more willing than I am now, but I place too much value on myself to allow others to take advantage. That sort of stubborn attitude is partially why I am in the situation I find myself in today, so changing it would make sense, but I’m not yet prepared to do so. If I’m to take a job for the lowest possible wage, I need to feel there is some other value, perk or advantage in the position to make up for it. It’s a fine line I am walking, and soon I may have no choice but to choose another way to tread.

My mental health is always at the forefront of my concerns and decision making. You might not understand this, but living the life of a homeless person might actually be better for my brain than the typical grind that most of you seem to handle with nothing more than an occasional grumpy attitude. For me, holding most jobs would be the equivalent of putting myself through mental torture 5 / five days a week. It would be like sending a person with broken arms, who couldn’t lift 10 / ten pounds without experiencing pain, to lug 20 / twenty pounds boxes around for a full shift. The only difference is that the pain is in my brain, which most people still can’t seem to understand or empathize with. Mental disabilities aren’t visible like physical ones, so while a person with a healing leg limps along, it’s tougher to catch it when a broken brain misses a step. And when it does, it’s not just a limp, it’s often the equivalent of a stumble and fall.

I’ll keep trying to move forward, with the belief that eventually something will work out slowly dissipating, to be replaced with doubt…
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what is wrong with US?
張貼於:2024年 3月 20日 10:58 am
最近編輯過:2024年 3月 28日 11:53 am
307 瀏覽
There is a man on the hookup site I belong to that says he is visiting from out of town. He posts regularly - so much so that it seems quite desperate - and his attitude typically seems to be one of disappointment. Why is nobody having sex with him? What is wrong with gay men in Oregon? That sort of stuff. He then ends his posts / ads by telling us that he is in his car at a public park, drinking his own urine. The man is correct; what is wrong with us that we don’t want to hook up with him?

We all have our likes and dislikes, and I don’t usually knock what others desire even if I am repulsed by it. I might be averse to fecal play but have no problem calling out someone who is talking shit. There is nothing wrong with Oregon, or present in this state that is not present in others. You can get rejected just as easily in California, Texas, New Jersey, Wyoming. Even people who have lived in Oregon their entire lives express frustration, but they don’t blame things on the city they live in. People are unreliable and dishonest everywhere, not just in Portland, Salem, or wherever. It could be that getting rejected has less to do with the place and more to do with the person, but telling that to someone while they’re trying to chug their own piss is probably a futile endeavor.
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sluts from my past
張貼於:2024年 3月 19日 1:31 pm
最近編輯過:2024年 3月 28日 11:53 am
342 瀏覽
A few nights ago I am fairly certain I ran into a woman that I knew during a rough period of my past. I was living in a hotel, working at a porn shop, and dabbling in a little bit of everything that came my way. Whether it was drugs or sex, I was willing to give it a try. This led to me smoking cocaine in a video booth while a man expertly sucked my cock. When I later commended him on his skills he told me he’d learned from a prostitute that was currently working the area near my hotel. You can probably guess where this is going, but let me just say that her skills were out of this world. At some point I would actually hire her to give a friend of mine a goodbye blowjob because he was moving away.

I will never know if the woman I saw in the library was the same prostitute from decades past, because I couldn’t figure out how to broach the subject without being awkward about it. And ultimately, what would be the point of finding out if it was indeed her - did I plan on reminiscing with her about what would likely be a pretty terrible time in her life? Was I going to be a total piece of garbage and see if I could get some oral sex from her? So I glanced at her more than a few times, but kept my mouth shut. She had very distinct, memorable facial features and stature, so I’m fairly certain it was who I think it was.

Nearly a week earlier, and during the day, I thought I caught sight of a very different slut from my past. This was a woman I treated as my daughter, and she had a very unique way of dressing as a result. She was in her early 20s / twenties but would wear things a preteen might. Sometimes her attire was even “younger” which delighted me to no end. We were proud perverts! In addition to the way she dressed was the way she moved, which I think is what initially caught my eye. There was something innocent in her gait; I don’t know how else to describe it. This person I saw was the same size and dimensions, had a similar style of dress, and even walked the same. It was tough not to drop everything I was doing and go chase after her, just to see if I was correct.

There aren’t that many memorable sluts from my past, mainly because when I found someone to love I really tried to make it work. My relationships were intense, sex-filled, and lasted for a while. Running into an ex has never even been a consideration, yet it’s happened once before. I legitimately ran into someone I’d been in love with for many years, at a department store, and we actually tried to see about at least rekindling a friendship but it didn’t work out. Rare are the instances I run into anyone from my past, if I’m being honest, so potentially running into 2 / two in a very short time is a nice coincidence, but both of them being females seems slightly significant. Maybe being visited by sluts from the past means there is going to be a visit from a slut of the future!
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