Close Please enter your Username and Password
Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
Password reset link sent to
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service

posts

Member Deleted Post


This post has been deleted by

DancingDom 74M
22474 posts
8/22/2017 3:56 pm

I suspect the definition that best suits are where the expectations of the person fit your needs as the dominant. He/she is compatible. to your needs and you respond to the person in that your see them as dominant and you respond in a submissive manner to them.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


DancingDom 74M
22474 posts
8/22/2017 4:22 pm

BTW, welcome to blag land. Best to you.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


Frederick516 58M

8/22/2017 4:54 pm

Terminology is so fluid in the fetish culture.
What's good for one person is not the case for someone else.

The dictionary would define Dominant as ruling, governing or controlling; having or exerting authority or influence.
In a relationship a Dominant should have the authority, but it is the character of the individuals exchanging that authority that will make or break it.
If the Dom uses that authority to abuse, or act without consent... well that's not generally a healthy situation. Likewise if the sub gives up authority to their own detriment, it's also not going to be a good thing.

Our relationships have to be built in much the same way any do, slowly over time, or they're probably not going to end well.
The problem is that we're generally such sexually charged and open people, we put the cart before the horse and jump into things before we truly know who we're involved with.
Then by the time we see the red flags it's too late.


steelcager 61M
1996 posts
8/22/2017 5:40 pm

A dominant/submissive relationship is a consensual one. A submissive has the desire to please her dom in some way, and a dominant is responsible for the well-being and safety of his submissive.

The sub is willing to give up her mind and body and the dominant may enrich the life of the sub in some way, and provides for her needs as well.


slaveforyou365 63M  
4488 posts
8/22/2017 6:24 pm



Slave rick


tadpole0963 50M
27 posts
8/23/2017 6:35 am

until you meet the person you will never truly know the person.


rosaenaluin 65F
10827 posts
8/23/2017 6:46 am

There are different definitions about what "being dominant" means to just as many people, as you can think of.

For most "dominant" means they want to be the boss in the bedroomdepartment in the kinky sex play only.
Most of these man do want to "domineer" you, for moment UNO, as a playrole.
The most of those DEMAND your submission, from the start.
It is sex/play oriented.

For those who are only into the kinky sex play, are also mostly only interested in your kink list, and not really in you, as a person.
Only in you as it has consequenses for the coming up play...

There is also a catagorie who is more into real day to day commitment, really getting to know each other as a person, FIRST.
They want to know you, before they are ever able to feel any dominance toward you.
Because they know you, as a whole, and not only your sexual appetite.

If there has been some bond building going on, your submission wil develop, as you are compatible in more then the sex part.

Otherwise, it is just some appointment to "submit" only during the play time/session.
after the game is done, you go back to being "normal"/vanilla gain.
play orientated sm/dominance
what i call SHOPPINGLIST DOMINANCE/SUBMISSION.

Wich one do you prefere?
stay safe, and take you time!

ask, ask, and ask more questions,
most play dominants dont like all those personal questions, dont want to really get personal involved at all!

they want to know if you like anal, of you like to give blowjobs,
or what ever they fancy.....
What do you prefere?

good luck.


Tbill1 58M
1795 posts
8/23/2017 12:31 pm

misigynistic? aslkalsnv .ksdfkjsd=0i wh aa tt tt hh ee... sorry, tied my tongue in a knot, ok, better now. I don't know what that means.

andy


Silver_core 57M  
301 posts
8/25/2017 5:06 pm

    Quoting rosaenaluin:
    There are different definitions about what "being dominant" means to just as many people, as you can think of.

    For most "dominant" means they want to be the boss in the bedroomdepartment in the kinky sex play only.
    Most of these man do want to "domineer" you, for moment UNO, as a playrole.
    The most of those DEMAND your submission, from the start.
    It is sex/play oriented.

    For those who are only into the kinky sex play, are also mostly only interested in your kink list, and not really in you, as a person.
    Only in you as it has consequenses for the coming up play...

    There is also a catagorie who is more into real day to day commitment, really getting to know each other as a person, FIRST.
    They want to know you, before they are ever able to feel any dominance toward you.
    Because they know you, as a whole, and not only your sexual appetite.

    If there has been some bond building going on, your submission wil develop, as you are compatible in more then the sex part.

    Otherwise, it is just some appointment to "submit" only during the play time/session.
    after the game is done, you go back to being "normal"/vanilla gain.
    play orientated sm/dominance
    what i call SHOPPINGLIST DOMINANCE/SUBMISSION.

    Wich one do you prefere?
    stay safe, and take you time!

    ask, ask, and ask more questions,
    most play dominants dont like all those personal questions, dont want to really get personal involved at all!

    they want to know if you like anal, of you like to give blowjobs,
    or what ever they fancy.....
    What do you prefere?

    good luck.
Agree with most of that, but it really is a tough thing and something for two people to work out. The same person might end up with different, but satisfactory answers with different people.

I think you should expect to be treated with respect, up to the point where you indicate otherwise. Some discussion of wants/needs is only natural, otherwise you/they may as well be on any number of other websites but it probably shouldn't be the very first topic of conversation. Unless you want it to be

It's a shitfest, every so often you'll end up talking to someone who does seem to see things your way but you probably need to wade through a lot of stuff first. Of course, when that one does surface, he'll probably either look like he fell out the ugly tree or he'll be 118 years old.

My advice, learn to just completely ignore maybe 95% safe in the knowledge that there are some decent people out there and they will turn up.

As said above, there's probably an infinite number of opinions and ways of acting, and who's to say that all of them aren't right some of the time. Stopped clock?


Controller_2015 67M

9/23/2017 3:54 pm

I learned to dom by, believe it or not, ballroom dancing. The parallels between D/s and ballroom are amazing. The man leads/dominates. The woman follows/submits. The first thing you learn about leading a woman in ballroom dance is you cannot force a woman to follow. Rather, you invite her her to follow by demonstrating skill and concern to protect her and she will gladly melt into your arms.


latinoloco61 62M

4/9/2019 6:25 pm

I think limits and communications with your sub is how a dom should be defined,, being versatile ,able to improvise and be still willing to a firm but nurturing man to his partner...


alaskaman1945 103M  
4 posts
6/8/2019 1:39 am

I think of my dominant side as being first and foremost a caretaker of my sub. Making sure she is safe is my responsibility and duty. knowing what my sub is looking for and providing for her is the goal. I derive pleasure from bringing pleasure.

Alaska Man



Become a member to comment on this blog