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It’s Okay Not to be Owned It’s Okay Not to be Owned I think a lot of submissives who are new to the lifestyle think it’s vital to be owned. To have a Master or Mistress to direct them in their daily tasks, and to help them in all sorts of kinky fuckery. That the fact they’re a submissive isn’t real if they’re single, or even that they’re not a ‘true’ submissive until they’ve been owned at least once might dance on the edge of their thoughts on a bad day. That isn’t true in the least! The fact you’re a submissive doesn’t suddenly go away if your Dom/me releases you, or if you step away from an abusive relationship. That submissive aspect is a part of who you are, and it dwells even when you’re on your own. It’s very important to know yourself first and foremost. This includes that subby part of yourself as well. Slowly learning what rules are acceptable, and what could be a hard limit is something that doesn’t take another person to figure out. In fact, I learned that I can never have a Dom tell me exactly what I can and can’t eat thanks to some time by myself. Then, when I became owned, I made that clear it was a hard limit and not something that could be added to my daily rules. You also begin learning what kinks you might enjoy. Reading and exploring things without the pressure or judgment of another person gives you that sort of freedom. You can look at kinks that other people might find a bit odd, or you could look into things you might worry others would find ‘too vanilla’. It allows you to get a decent idea on who you might be sexually compatible with in the future. Finally, and perhaps the most important part, you also get to know what sort of person you’d be compatible with emotionally. Without another person around it’s so much easier to listen to your true self, and not have it clouded by the expectations or hopes of another person. Granted, you will always be growing, but who you are from the start allows you to see these growths and changes of the magnificent rosebush that is your mind. Remember: You are a wonderful and valuable person regardless if you’re owned or not. You’re what matters first and foremost, not your relationship status. nihilism-pastry~  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.” |
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I had to learn to be alone first before I could be a part of anything else.
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You always have posts that are spot on good advice to new and experienced people. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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I had to learn to be alone first before I could be a part of anything else. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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