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aliljaded 53F
23949 posts
12/11/2017 8:16 am
Comfort...

Comfort...

As much as I need comfort after punishment, sometimes I think he needs it more than I do. I need his forgiveness. I need to know that things are okay between us and I’m still his, still loved, still safe.

But he needs that, too. The first time I realized it, it was a huge lightbulb moment. He was quieter than usual and I was worried. Worried that, despite his earlier reassurance, all was not right between us once again. So, after a couple of hours of watching him brood about it, I screwed up my courage and knelt at his feet and gently asked him if there was something we needed to talk about.

He said something that rocked my world. He simply asked me, “Do you know how difficult that was for me?” And I sat back on my heels for a moment, because the answer that came to mind immediately was “No, I don’t.” I realized in that moment how selfish I’d been, thinking only about how I felt about being punished, and not about how difficult it had been for him, to watch me struggle and struggle and still fail and then have to follow through with the consequence we’d discussed. He loved me and wanted me to be healthy and happy and not only had I disappointed him and broken the rules, but he’d had to do the work of correcting me and putting me back on the path he set *again*.

That’s when i realized he needed my comfort, he needed to know I still loved him, that I appreciated the lengths that he went to - not only to monitor my behavior but to punish me - not because he was angry or disappointed, but because I needed it. I needed his structure and constant adherence to the rules I couldn’t seem to follow on my own. He had to do all of those things and I..I just had to accept it, take it. He had to do something that to someone he loved that I expressly did not enjoy. He had to watch me sob my way through it. And he had to hold me when it was over and forgive me.

And realizing that, I crawled up in his lap and held him. I told him how amazing he was and how sorry I was - not for the thing I’d done to deserve the punishment; I’d already apologized for that - but I was ashamed it had taken me so long to see not just the immediate consequences of my behavior, but how much punishing me weighed on him. I told him “thank you”. I told him I loved him.

And I tried to remember, the next time, to make better choices, not just because I didn’t want to be punished. Not just because I didn’t want to disappoint him. I didn’t want him to have to punish me. I’m not perfect; of course, I messed up eventually. But the lesson about taking care of him stayed with me for a long, long time.

Good Dominants are rare and precious things. We have to take care of the ones we love, just as much as they take care of us.

fireflyflashes~


"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


asianat2008 69M
3955 posts
12/11/2017 11:51 pm

Submission and love between two create comfort zone.

Self-respect is the corner-stone of virtues.


slut4abuse2014 53M/53F  
36 posts
12/11/2017 12:19 pm

wow thats all so true very good food for thought to take a moment and think about others mmm
th


1uncommondom 77M

12/11/2017 11:41 am

If you aren't learning
from each other
you're not evolving.


timetoshare13 62M
120 posts
12/11/2017 10:02 am

WOW so well said


aliljaded 53F
8847 posts
12/11/2017 8:18 am

Great sentiment.

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”



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